Relax, manage and enjoy!

This week think about letting go of control, relaxing into your new life style through management. When we refuse to relax and accept the reality of our lives we're actually setting up all sorts of doors, windows and road blocks to our happiness and success.  I believe a successful life is all about management.  For years, and years, I'd tried to control EVERYTHING and failed miserably.  I now realize it was not because I didn't try hard enough, it was because it was not my job to control, it was my job to manage. Control and management may seem like the same action, and they can indeed create similar outcomes on certain situations, but only one of them can leave you in a peaceful, doors-wide-open, state if things don't work out as hoped or planned which is sometimes the case in life.

So which are you in your life, a Controller or a Manager?  

Do you work fiercely with a do or die attitude with your happiness hinging on a perfect outcome?  Or do you decide what you want, make your best plan and strive to execute it to the best of your ability with your happiness securely in place and not based on the outcome?  

Which of these methods do you think will bring peace to your life?

Tools of the trade...do you use ALL of the tools in your toolbox?

Every task has it's own set of "tools" and losing weight is no different.  You wouldn't expect to build a house with just a screw driver right?  Of course not and we can't expect to build our weight loss with just one tool either.  If you've been at this for any length of you time you will no doubt have figured out just working part of the plan is not enough.  Certain times and events require different tools...which brings us to BBQ TIME!

BBQ....three letters that simultaneously fill us with joy and dread!  BBQ's, in most of our minds, mean grilled meats, several mayonaisy salads, potato chips and booze and lot's of it!  Sigh...my mouth is watering already....and I won't go into the dessert menu....sorry about that!  

Whenever I think of going to a BBQ and trying to "fit" the hosts menu into my daily PPV's I just laugh...not going to happen.  So I have 2 choices: go off (way off, like Albuquerque, New Mexico off)  Plan OR take at least 2 Plan friendly dishes myself.  I have learned, and accepted, that I cannot resist gorging on the BBQ food. So I take food I can fill up on first and then am able to make much better choices.  Rather simple but it works.

And there are plenty of Plan friendly recipes...they're in your tool box, didn't you see them?  They're right along side of "eat some protein before you go", "drink lots of water", "earn extra activity points", "write down YOUR planned menu", "save your 49"....so many tools!  Oh, and don't forget one of our most effective tools "want power"!  How do you WANT your summer weight loss to go?

So, enjoy your summer, plan your summer and lose the weight!  

And, of course, never leave home without your tool box!  

Be nice to yourself.....ALL of the time!

"The words we speak set the course for our lives.  If you want to know where you are going to be in five years, listens to the words you are saying about yourself today."  Joel Osteen

Right now my dog-child James is laying at my feet and when I think of him all sorts of words come to mind...in fact I tell him he's not just super but ALL of the super's....super smart, super cute, super sweet, super ball catcher, super fast, super noser, super banana eater....you get the idea!  We're always saying "Good Boy/Girl", "Aren't you smart?" to our dogs, cats, horses and hamsters.  Why?  Because we love them and  we know our positive reinforcement encourages them to repeat positive behavior plus it makes their tails wag in happiness!  I have never once said to myself how super I am.  Why not?

The power of words is immeasurable. So here's my question for us all:  When you've had a not so Plan friendly week, what words to you use to describe yourself?  Dumb, stupid and useless?  Those are just mine, yours may be different.  Why do we do that?  If a fellow member said to you they had a disastrous week and was totally off Plan, would you slap them upside the head and call them stupid?  Of course you wouldn't!  You'd comfort them, share their pain and tell them not to give, that next week will be better. 

Do we really think by berating ourselves that our behavior will change?  Most of us have been scolded by for doing something wrong or to stop inappropriate behavior.  When it was about not touching a hot stove or darting out into traffic, well,  that was helpful.  But were you ever scolded for taking another piece of cake or bowl of ice cream?  Told to "leave a few chips in the bag for the rest of us"?  Did it stop you from having another piece of cake, bag of chips or tub of ice cream?  No.  We were so hurt by those comments that we needed comfort... so we ate another piece of cake, bag of chips or tub of ice cream. See how that works? 

Always be as nice to yourself as you are to your dog, cat, horse or hamster!  Your inner tail will wag:)

Do you dare to ask???

Do you live a fear driven life? I did. I was brought up by a Father who was driven to succeed by the fear of losing. I just realized a few years ago I too was making life decisions based on fear of losing. If you never try, you can never lose. I missed out on a lot of wonderful experiences living that mantra. Living a fear driven life, is a life in which you're constantly clipping your own wings. How do you live your life?

Check out this 1 minute commencement address by Jim Carrey.  It's really worth your minute!

http://sfglobe.com/?id=955&src=share_fb_new_955

“I am a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality.” Bryon Katie

I love, love this, because I've learned, with a wee bit o'practice mind you, to accept, if not always "love", what is.  What a relief and release it is to let it go!  

I used to argue with reality all the freakin' time! And I just realized I still do when it comes to my weight loss journey.  I argue that my weight should be going down because I'm working the Plan.  But here's the reality:  I am working the Plan and my weight is not going down.  Bam...reality.  

But here's the difference now.  In the past I would sink into a self loathing depression, give up and eat even more (sound familiar?).  But when you learn to accept and love what is, stop obsessing and blaming, you have a whole lot more time to think positive thoughts!  Seriously, obsessing and blaming are time suckers!  So now, I still keep trying and working the Plan BUT with a true happiness and lightheartedness that is fueling me with positive energy....energy that I'm able to use to sustain my weight loss efforts until such time as I start to lose again.  Bam...more reality!

How does accepting what is allow you to be happy?  Well, I'm not an expert but this is how I see it.  If reality is "the world or the state of things as they actually exist" then no amount of wishing, wanting or manipulating on my part is going to change it.  So, if it is impossible for me to change the reality of a situation, why continue wasting my precious, and not unlimited, energy continually going down that dead end road?  Do you KNOW how much energy it takes to wish, want and manipulate???  Of course you know exactly what I'm talking about....the energy we use trying to change what cannot be changed is HUGE!!!  And because reality cannot be changed, we can NEVER be successful, which is very painful. And that pain weighs us down and robs us of the chance to live lightheartedly and happily.  Once you truly try to accept "what is" something inside you happens: lightheartedness.  I use the word "lightheartedness" because that's what happens to me. When the "thing" that I'd like to change comes to mind, I no longer obsess and blame, but rather acknowledge and let go.  I acknowledge that I still want to lose weight but I accept that it may not happen at this time (menopause, hormones leaping off of cliffs etc).  Then I choose to reap all the other benefits of eating well and exercising and then BAM....lightheartedness walks in the door!

Remember, accepting "what is" doesn't mean giving up or giving in, in fact the exact opposite. Accepting "what is" allows you to see the situation as it truly is.  You can't change the reality of a situation but you can change your attitude towards the situation.  In the case of weight loss changing your current negative attitude may be the kick start you need. Nurturing a positive attitude will fill you with a renewed energy that you can use to get you back in the game!  And you be able to work on your goal light of heart.  Which can make you happy!!!  Yay!!!

So, I encourage you to accept and, yes even love, what is.  It just may be the missing piece of your personal happiness puzzle!

What to do if you feel like quitting, or at least, here's what I do!

As a WW leader it always makes my so sad when I hear one of our members say they feel like quitting.  It makes me sad and I absolutely feel the some way some days!  Honestly I'm having a lot of those feelings lately.  Why?  Well, I'm sure for the very same reasons you feel like quitting..."I'm not losing weight even though I am working the plan to the very best of my ability."  Like you, I am totally accepting of any weight gain when I'm off the wagon because I KNOW why....yup, wings, chips and beer etc:) It's the not knowing WHY that frustrates me to no end.  I follow the plan, eat all, but not more than, my daily PPV's in lean protein, low fat dairy, veggies and fruit (keep my fruit to 3), exercise daily, drink my water, keep my starchy carbs to an absolute minimum...and yes, I know I'm preaching to the choir.

So, what to do?  Quit?  Well, for me quitting is never an option, remember I've been working at this since Grade 6!  And that does not make me super-woman.  I don't quit because this is something I do KNOW....I KNOW, without a shadow of doubt, if I quit I will stop my freakin'-annoying-but-not-gaining-holding-pattern and start gaining weight...very rapidly.  Sound familiar?

So, now what do I do?  What I do now, what I CHOOSE to do now, is accept "what is" and keep working the plan...and damn it, do it with gratitude!  Choosing to accept "what is" and focusing my energy on gratitude I'm giving myself the absolute very best chance to be successful.  This, I KNOW to be true.  And I know the Plan offers me so much more than weight loss.  My body may be clinging to some body fat but it's humming with the healthy nutrients I give it each day and that I know is worth my efforts.  

I started accepting "what is" a few years back and, wow, what a game changer it was!  I used to believe I could control the outcome of situations if I just worked hard enough and never gave up.  What a hard, hard lesson for me to learn that not all things were within my control and that I had to learn to accept "what is" or continue to be miserable...took me YEARS to get that one!  But when I got it, wow, what a release of tension and anxiety.  By accepting the things I could not change (ummm, sounds like a line in a 12 step program) I freed myself from putting my focus and energy on things that were not mine to change.

Things I cannot change:  I'm 53, I'm going through menopause and most of my hormones have fallen off a cliff.

Things I can change:  Being unhappy about: being 53, going through menopause and my dead hormones. 

Does any of this sound like what you're going through?  What are you going to choose to do? Will you choose to gratefully accept "what is" and focus your energy on working the plan?  Focus on the many benefits eating and living a healthy life give you?  I hope that is exactly what you choose to do because then you will be getting the very best your current weight "situation" can give you.  And that's pretty good isn't it?

This is very true, don't you think????