Wednesday, 25 March 2015

Working the Plan is like winter in Canada....

we're sick of it but we live in Canada so if we want to be happy we have to stop fighting it and get with the program!  Like I did when I bought snowshoes on March 1st!  Am I thrilled it's March 19th and I'm still snowshoeing....not really BUT, wonders of wonders, I really like it and it's made my daily walks so much more fun.


Plus, and here's what really drives me..."I don't want to accept the consequences of not walking during the entire time we have cold weather anymore".



You are free....
- to not track 
-to try and squeeze as much junk food into your daily plan as possible
-to ignore the good health guidelines
- to think you don't need weekly meetings
-to not get in some daily activity
-to not try to change your self-destructive habits
-to work the plan begrudgingly with absolutely no joy
-to accept that you can't manage all the triggers around you
-to wish it was all different
-to do nothing
.....but, you are not free of the consequences  

It's March 19 and -11....I guess I'll throw on my snowshoes and
choose to embrace what is. 
Will I bitch about the wind ripping at my face....a little. :) 
What are you going the choose to do? 

Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Saboteurs, control freaks and the other people who love us! :)

Ever have a day when all is right with your world and then with a few spoken words, you are reduced to feeling like a heap of disappointment?  We are reduced to feeling like the child who never got it right.  The child we once were and who still lives inside of our adult bodies.  My Dad (who I know loves me dearly!) does that to me all of the time.  Hence the this weeks' blog topic!  

When I'm able to get back to thinking like a mature adult I'm able to forgive, and even feel sorry for, my Dad that he is so wrapped in his lifetime of insecurities that he's unable to enjoy a wonderful and meaningful relationship not only with me but other family members too.  Oh, and forget about trying to change and reason with these people....we've all been there, done that and got nothin'!  Right? 

But understanding why he does it does not mean it doesn't hurt, each and every time.  And I am tired of it!  I'm tired of feeling bad, of how it affects my moment and my day, of how I have to fight the urge to eat, of feeling sorry for myself.  I want it to stop, want him to stop but I know he won't, not because he doesn't love me because he truly believes he knows best.  My Dad is the ultimate protector, and yes, I love him for it...mostly.

I know there is only one way it will stop.  I have to stop waiting for the day that my father will say, "Good for you Joanne, I think you're doing the right thing!"  It will never happen.  Some days I'm pretty good at it, others not so much.  It's a work in progress. :)  I know he never heard those words as a child so that helps with the understanding.  

And what about the friend or family member that through their controlling ways also sabotage and undermine our weight loss efforts?  What is that all about???  Who knows but what it is not about is you, it's about them.  You just happen to be at the end of that particular stick.  Chances are that person is not going to stop so you must stop.  Stop giving them power.  Stop waiting for them to tell you they think you're doing the right thing!  Change your attitude toward that person and how they choose to treat you.  It is the only way for you to finally allow the hurt child inside you to move forward and assume their place as an adult in charge of their own life.


But how do you change your attitude?  Start by changing your belief.  Start by believing that you are, at the very least, worthy of being treated with kindness and respect.  And believe you have the ability to make good decisions for yourself.  Accept that while you cannot change another person you can decide you do not wish to participate in their destructive behavior anymore.  You may be lucky enough to be able to have a conversation about it with that person but for most of us we must just go about changing how we react...silently and with consistency.



I love this line by Pema Chodron!  And what we need to know about saboteurs and controllers is that everything they say and do to you is not about you!  That realization will be a wonderful moment for you! It may feel and sound like it's about you but it's not!  It's about them.  It's about their fears and insecurities. It's about their misguided way of showing love.  It's about how they were treated in their lives.  It's about their unhappiness.  It's about their jealousies.  It's only about you if you believe them and participate.

And just in case you think I'm advocating never speaking to or dealing with a family member or friend again, I'm not!  We love them.   I'm  just saying quietly and without confrontation, change your attitude, which will change your response to their words.  Don't argue or challenge them, that's what they want!  The moment you challenge, argue or try to prove yourself you're done, remember they thrive on it!  If you silently refuse to participate they will soon wear themselves out, kinda like a crying two year old.



Wednesday, 11 March 2015

What I've learned from those who weigh in at goal...week after week, month after month, year after year, after year...

I get such a hopeful charge out of weighing people who've  maintained their goal weight for years. Years!  It makes me so happy and gives me hope.  And the picture below is how I picture them in my head!



I like to pick their brains for pearls of wisdom.  And as you would imagine everyone says about the same thing..."it's fantastic but you have to continue to work at it!" Ummm, no surprise there is there? The other thing they all mention is that they eat good food and very little of it processed, again no surprise.  
And then the key to it all acceptance...they just shrug and say "Well, I accept if that's what it takes to be thin, then that's what I'll do, you don't get something for nothing."  

I know, you're as crushed as I was! Not one person said "Oh, once I lost the weight I could eat whatever I wanted!"  But also, not one person said, "It's not worth it." 

I know we all know this, 
I just thought it was worth repeating....


Wednesday, 4 March 2015

Tracking tells your story. All statements made in this blog are just my opinions:)

The most useful tool for losing weight, and keeping it off, is the one many people seem to loath and ignore.  You all know what I'm going to say...."tracking".

When it comes to life, we all have a story.  When it comes to food, we also have a story.  It's a story about a relationship.  A relationship that for some started when we were young and for others seemed to happen when they weren't looking.  No matter how, or when, your relationship with food started, we all ended up in the same boat. We're not happy in the boat and we want to get out but in order to get out we have to change.  We have to change our relationship with food.

I believe to truly change a relationship you first have to be able to see it for what it is...see the pattern, see the strengths, see the weaknesses.  When it comes to changing your relationship with food if you're not writing down everything you eat and drink, how can you possibly truly see it, understand it, then change it? 

Tracking tells your food story.  Maybe you don`t want to see that story on paper?  Maybe if you see it you're scared you will have to own it?  And owning it means accepting the responsibility that your success lies in your hands?  The answer is yup, yup, yup!  But we know those reactions are coming from fear, right?  The reality is knowledge gives you power, acceptance gives you power, tracking gives you power! I'll say it again...."Tracking gives you power!"

I'm not saying you can't reach your weight loss 
goal without tracking....
no wait, that's exactly what I'm saying.