Gratitude, try it, you'll like it!

Like many of you I've been struggling with my WW plan lately, personal issues seem to be taking over.  I keep working on living with the attitude of gratitude and I must say it never lets me down. Whenever life seems too overwhelming I take a moment to list all I am grateful for and it's like magic, a calm settles over me and I am able to take a moment, breathe and continue forward.

Try it!  Gratitude fills all spaces in our heart and soul so there is no room for fear, anger and negative feelings.  Thanksgiving weekend can often cause anxiety and fear about staying on Plan. We must realize the easiest way to fall off Plan is to be anxious and fearful.  We must also realize the best chance our Thanksgiving Plan has for success is to execute it with gratitude.

Have a wonderful 

Thanksgiving Weekend!

Keep your gratitude front 

and center....

you'll be thankful you did!

It's time.

Time.  Buddha says, “The trouble is you think you have time”.

Lately life has brought about many reasons for me to think about time. I woke up with a start early this morning and had this thought, "It's time to stop. Stop what I asked. Time to stop trying to fix yourself.  You don't need fixing, nature does not make mistakes.  Everything in nature is as it should be. It's time to stop."  Even in my semi-sleep state I "talk" a lot.

I have been trying to fix myself since Grade 6... that's 45 years! I marvel, and/or lament, that one moment in math class, a moment that was catastrophic to only me, set me on a path that would last 45 years.  I think I've given enough time to this unnecessary and soul destroying quest. Every time I think of the time I've wasted I want to cry but that would just be wasting more precious time wouldn't it?

Okay, now that I've had this epiphany, how in hell do I stop thinking that I need fixing, that I am not enough as is?  How do I stop thoughts, damaging as I know them to be, that have become me, are me. The enlightened-Oprah-watchin' me knows my thoughts are not me but the ego. I understand it all when I'm listening to Eckhart Tolle but man just thinking about putting that into practice makes my brain hurt.  How do I stop paying attention to thoughts I've been living my life by for 45 years!  I guess one thought at a time.  Like everything else we want to change and master, one step, one thought, one day at a time.  As thought of needing to "fix" comes in, I will notice it and replace it with "nothing to fix, I am enough".

Whenever I write a post like this I can't help but wonder, "Is it only me?" But then I think of all the people I have conversations with about feeling less than and needing to be fixed and I know sadly there are many of us still attached to those moments in time when we started to believe we were not enough as is.  Is it time for you too to stop? I don't mean to upset you but have you thought about all of the time you have wasted trying to fix yourself?  I'll bet there are a few people who can beat 45 years.

I have to pause and think about that one but if I am truly not the voice in my head, then Hallelujah, what a relief because quite frankly she is becoming a pain in the ass!  

And NEVER shuts up! :)

This is a difficult one for me because I never give up but I guess it's not giving up if you were never meant to do it in the first place is it?  I was never meant to fix myself because I was never broken.  I see that now, but yup, that's gonna take a while.

"We get the life we tolerate." Tony Robbins

He said this during his last visit on Oprah's "Super Soul Sunday" and I've not been able to get it out of my head since.  At first I found it to be quite harsh as if he was saying is dismissively but then realized I was just projecting my negative self image into it....I am so freakin' predicable!  Once I was able to take emotion out of it I started to grasp the full meaning of how it related to me, and by me I mean my inability to get back to goal weight, of course.

I have always been able to tolerate what it took to lose weight, at least for short periods of time!  For the past 20 years (20 years???) I have been able to tolerate not eating starchy foods because at first it helped me lose weight but then I noticed I felt so much better (translation: was not constipated).I thought I was strong and dedicated. As it turns out, yes, I was strong and dedicated but I was also 35.

Two years ago I gained 11 pounds in 2 weeks (Puerto Rico: mucho chips and beer, no walking, no tracking) but the moment I came home I went right back to tracking and walking and lost about 4 pounds and then hit a wall... could not lose more.  But I keep on trying (for 2 years now!!) because it worked 4 years ago. I keep on trying the same thing expecting the "original" results and nothing. I finally had to accept what I did to lose weight 4 years ago now is maintenance for me.  

So, in order to lose I have to change my plan in two ways: 1. not eat my weeklies  2. do more than just walk 4 times a week. So far I have done neither of those things.  Why?  Well, after much soul searching I have come to the conclusion that I just don't want to.  I like to use my weeklies every weekend and I don't want to add a zumba class 3 times a week.....I just don't want to.

Now my challenge is to tolerate my decision so I can be at peace with it. That is turning out to be a bit of a bitch because I am not a quitter and my over-thinkin' little brain is having a really difficult time tolerating the "I just don't want to" attitude.  Because I must always have a plan, it is my plan for the time being to work on allowing myself to tolerate maintenance which means tracking my daily and weekly points and going for 4 or 5 walks a week. All I will be changing is my attitude...haha..we'll see how that goes!   If I find I can no longer tolerate being over goal, then out comes the zumba video! 

What are you tolerating?  Are you okay with it? What are you unable to change because you've been tolerating it?  And if you're unable, or unwilling, to do what it takes to change it, are you willing to try and accept it?

This I know.

I know we need to pick one...tolerate or change. 

There is no peace living in the middle.

Is grief stopping me in my tracks?

I haven't written a blog entry for a couple of weeks because I quite simply can't focus long enough. I'm beginning to wonder if it's grief.  I wrote briefly a couple of weeks ago about the sudden passing of ex-husband Carl, and the overwhelming pain I felt, and still feel, for my son Glenn.  I know I have been grieving for Glenn and others in his Dads life but have I also been grieving for myself?  Of course I have.  It's a different kind of grief when that person is not in your daily life. We grieve for that which is gone.

So for me this is just some of what is gone:

- knowing my son can watch, and bitch about, the Jays and the Leafs with his beloved Dad.

- the person who taught my son about all the "really good" music and movies of 50 years ago

- the person who sometimes drove my son nuts so he called me to complain about him

- the person who had very strong opinions on everything which showed up nicely in our sons  personality and helped him be the deep thinker he is today.

- knowing the other side of our sons safety net is gone, now it's just me.  

- the only other person who truly knew just exactly how magnificent and absolutely splendid the little boy born on January 26, 1988 really is.  I think this one is the hardest.

Re-reading what I just wrote has made me see that I'm still allowing only the Glenn part of my grief to be recognized. This one is the hardest for me to admit because it's tied to my biggest regret and failure as a wife and mother: I'm finally grieving the person I thought I was supposed to be, tried very hard to be but was not able to be.  I'm finally grieving the death of a young woman who so desperately wanted to be what she was expected of her but finally could not.  I guess it's appropriate that she dies with Carl. We grieve for that which is gone.

Lately, I've said too many times, "Enough with the people dying!".  In fact I said it about 5 hours ago when we learned about the death of another friend. Sometimes in life there is just a run on death among the people we know, that is just the way it is, and will continue to be.  I've given up on trying to find meaning in it and have just accepted it as life...and death....the circle of life.  The one thing every death has in common is that it reminds me just how fleeting and fragile life is and to stop wasting time. 

And this one was Carl's favourite...

My Abundance Factor

For those of us whose relationship with food is less than healthy we often suffer from what I think of as a "skewed abundance factor".  Over the past couple of months I've started to notice that I tend to eat every meal like food is leaving the planet.  The new tactic I'm trying (which I realize is not new to many WW members!) is making a smaller amount of food (because I always eat ALL that I make) and tell myself this is enough but I can have more if I'm still hungry.

I really noticed my skewed abundance factor when a month or so ago I ate all but 8 of my daily SP's by 1:30.  I was in a panic and shared it on our WW FB page.  I think it was Marg who reminded me how low in SP's shrimp is and I was able to come up with a huge honkin' 3 SP salad to fulfill my "abundance factor" needs.   My bowl was the lid from a cake carrier.  It suddenly dawned on me I never use it to cover a cake, it is always my salad bowl.  It holds enough salad for a family of 6 and I always eat the whole thing.  A perfect example of a skewed abundance factor: far more than needed to feel satisfied physically but the perfect amount needed to feel satisfied mentally.

This event gave me valuable insight about my idea of what constitutes a reasonable amount of food and lead me to conclude the following:

-Even zeros can be dangerous for me - Zero points does not mean all you-can-eat.

-I need parameters even for zero point veggies or my salad will always be the size of a cake carrier lid.

-I need to measure out 2 cups of veggies for my stir-fry or I eat 6 cups.

-I need to start with a reasonable amount.  If I get hungry that would be the time to eat more, not eat more to start with.

I now make my salad with about 2 or 3 cups of veggies, still large enough to be satisfied but not enough to feel stuffed.  Surprisingly the result has been feeling less panicky about where or when my next meal will be.  I almost feel like food is not leaving the planet.

Is your "abundance factor" skewed?  

Do you constantly think about your next meal?

Do you worry there will not be enough?

In this instance, what we need to know is:

there will be enough,

we have enough,

we are enough.

Blessed or Deprived?

Although I'm usually okay with not eating sweets because I know the havoc they wreak on my personal peace there are days when I really want an ice cream cone!  Especially when we've taken the dog to Sandbanks and we drive back home through Bloomfield where the Slickers Ice Cream store always has lined up out the door. It's easy to get a little "Oh woe is me" going on.

Some of you may be feeling the same way.  Being on WW doesn't mean that all your favourite high fat, high sugar foods are off the menu, but it does mean they are not on the menu every day and maybe not even every week.  And not being able to have them when ever we want can lead to feeling deprived.

The reason we feel deprived is because we have feelings about food.  Over our lives food has been woven into most of our events and since most events in our lives also bring about certain emotions it's easy to see how we've learned to attach emotion to our food instead of simply having food as fuel.

So once again we're looking at changing our minds.  I've said before that since I've given up sweets that I haven't lost any weight but that's because I have simply substituted high fat carbs for them.  But here's my change in thinking:  I don't feeling deprived (as much!) anymore, I choose to feel blessed because I haven't had a binge in over a year. And for me that is a record by a long shot.

Now because I am a sharer, I am going to share this here, and also if I don't do it here I will most likely blurt it out during a meeting!  This past week has been the most painful and stressful week of my life. My son Glenn's father past away very suddenly, while Glenn was in Greece.  The pain I have felt for my son is like no other I have ever experienced.  If ever there was a time to turn to sugar for comfort this is it, but I didn't.  Why?  For two reasons: I knew without a doubt if I started I would not stop and I knew without a doubt the sugar would not take the pain away.

My point in sharing this?  I want you to know that it is possible to get to a place where you can choose not to turn to junk food to ease your pain.  Even during this time I have chosen to feel blessed for many reasons.  I chose to feel blessed not because I am super enlightened and have all my crap together, I chose to feel blessed because it just feels better.  And that eases the pain.

My latest Try-A-Thon...breathing.

The inside of my head is one busy little piece of gray matter!  I know I'm a Chatty Cathy (1960's doll reference) on the outside but that's nothing compared to the chatter in my head.  And most of that chatter is useless and adds nothing but self-induced stress.  It has become one of my new Try-A-Thon's to quiet my mind, or at least cultivate a more peaceful one.

I tried meditating years ago and, in typical 25 year old Joanne fashion, decided to start with an hour and when I was incapable of lasting more than 5 minutes, I gave it up and added it to my list of failures. Now I don't worry about the length of time, which is a good thing because sometimes it's quite literally seconds, I just concentrate on being aware of my breath or when I'm walking I concentrate on how my body feels taking each step. If I feel my mind start to wander, I go to my happy place which is gratitude and I'm always happy to stay there for a while.  Quieting the chatter for a few minutes, or even seconds, several times a day can bring a calming effect to even the most hectic brain.

Because this journey of becoming our best selves is never ending and sometimes painful we must find a way to quiet all of the old stories and negative thoughts that are road blocks to our success.

Feeling stuck?  Try meditating.

 I suggest starting with way less than an hour!

It's not a deep fried gold fish!

At the beginning of the summer we talked about setting our summer goals and not just doing the hokey-pokey all summer long and I would say for all of us that has been a challenge.  I'm usually on plan until I get stressed and last week was very stressful (admittedly, most of it was created in my own head, see last weeks entry), and then I'd knock my own grandmother out the way to get to the carbs!

I did have a few highly starched meals but stayed away from the sugar which was a major accomplishment considering the 60th anniversary cake for my parents was not only covered in fondant the large foil tray it was on was draped with it for a folded satin effect...beautiful but deadly for a sugar addict!  I decided not to take any chances, the moment the cake had been served I cut all of excess away and threw it in the garbage....and then threw coffee grounds on top of it for good measure!  It was about the size of a volley ball so I was taking no chances.  My usual MO would have been to stash it way and then eat the whole thing once everyone had left.  So, even though the night before the party I got up at 1 am and threw up, I was able to work on my Try-A-Thon goal and somewhat change my response to the stress and calm myself down when I got back into bed.  Yes, I know that's a stretch but I'm going with it!

On Saturday my husband and I took 50 people on a bus to the New York State Fair Grounds to the Syracuse Nationals Vintage Car show....and the food vendors were every 10 feet!  Deep fried dough...really????   

This a picture of me and my lunch...a big honkin" turkey leg (not a deep fried gold fish as someone mentioned, haha).  My husband says pictures of me with large quantities of meat is starting to become a theme, meh, it could be worse.

To end off my week I was in Grimsby with relatives and out for yet another dinner.  My other-Mother always makes a delicious pie and usually even though I'm stuffed when we get back home after dinner I have to eat a couple of pieces of pie right away.  In fact I become obsessed with it until I do but this time was different.  Because dessert has been off of the menu for me I hardy gave the pie a thought except to think how great it felt not to be out of control and not be scarfing pie down which, of course,  ALWAYS lead to sneaking a dozen or so cookies right before bed.  A non-scale victory of huge proportions for me as this behaviour is about 45 years old!  Also, when I used to indulge in the pie and cookies, the next day I would always stop on my way home for a can of Pringles and a double chocolate bar, rationalizing that the next morning I would have to start my diet again and since I was already way off plan what harm would another little pig-out do?  We all know the answer to that question.  Today I thought about the chips and chocolate when I stopped for a stretch but it was relatively easy to say no and stick with a coffee. 

Before WW I would never have thought I could change my relationship with food to this degree.  I still overeat on occasion, or when I'm stressed, but they are slips, not slides, and surprisingly I'm okay with that, which now that I think of it is another non-scale victory.  I guess that means I'm developing my WWWWW's or .....Wonder Woman Weight Watcher Ways!

What Wonder Woman (or Man!) Weight Watcher Ways 

have you developed?  

I bet if you think about it you'd be surprised!

Sometimes you feel like a nut.

This week is nuts for me.  It's nuts because for some reason I'm a nut maker.  Work, and visitors, and my parents 60th wedding anniversary and more work and more visitors, all of which mean two of my favourite things....lots cooking and cleaning...neither of which I am good at or enjoy!

I have decided my WW Try-A-Thon efforts this month will be in the form of trying new ways of "dealing" with all the nuts I create.

This week I will:

1. Not worry that I cannot vacuum 15 minutes before guests arrive and the moment I put the vacuum away our dog and cat will start shedding.

2. Accept that neither I, nor my husband, are gardeners...our grass is cut and our grounds are at least on the low-end of acceptability for company.

3. Accept that the deck that I scrubbed and power washed on Sunday has muddy dog prints on it again.

4. Be content the plans I have laid out for this week will happen...or not.

5. Be very grateful my family is coming together to celebrate Mom and Dad's 60th years together.

6. Work on being full of joy instead of full of self-induced nuts.

Today, I will bury my "nuts" and do some good....

and house work.

Once a Weight Watcher, always a Weight Watcher.

Because I'm a leader I don't often see the LT's that come in once a month for their weigh in but yesterday I was filling in as receptionist and got to catch up with E. who said I could share her story. I'm not often floored but she got me.

E. has been at goal for many years and has always seemed to me to be one of the lucky ones who "gets it" meaning gets what it takes to stay at goal.  She looked fabulous, as always, happy and friendly, as always.  And then I asked her how she's been and she said, "Well, 3 months ago I found out I had cancer and had a mastectomy, but it all went well and I feel great."  That news was upsetting, as it always is when you hear that someone has had cancer and we chatted about her experience.  E. mentioned that her weight had started to drop for seemingly no reason.  At first it was great, (once a Weight Watcher, always a Weight Watcher, right?) but she also knew something was wrong.

This is the part that floored me. After catching up it was time for weigh in and E. was suddenly anxious about getting on the scale and very seriously said, "Oh, I hope I haven't gained.".  And I, very unprofessionally, blurted out, "Gained?  Are you serious?  You just had mastectomy 2 months ago! Are you telling me that after having cancer you are still worried about whether or not your weight went up???"  Yup, floored.

And then we started laughing and agreed...once a Weight Watcher, always a Weight Watcher, even in the wake of cancer! We usually think that life threatening experiences forever change how we view everything else in our lives but E.'s story reminds us how deeply rooted our fear of the scale can be.

I want to thank E. for not only allowing me to share her story, but encouraging me to do so. As she continues her journey to live Beyond the Scale, I hope you find the strength to do so as well.  It's time, don't you think?

"Hello, my name is Joanne and I'm an addict." are words I have spoken.

Yes, it's true, I have not lost any more weight since I quit eating sugar.  And I can just hear some, if not all, of your thoughts right now:  So why stop?  In fact my husband and I had that same conversation while we were on holidays in January.  At the time I wasn't sure why I didn't want to just "treat" myself but I didn't.  Then I remembered why.

I am a sugar addict.  And I don't need a scientific study to tell me sugar is addictive or not addictive. I know the definition of addiction: "a strong and harmful need to regularly have something" and  I lived it for about 30 years.

So. let's see.

1 Tolerance - I don't remember, who remembers their first taste of sugar?  First birthday? All I do know is my Mom is a sugar addict and she still to this day puts sugar on her cucumbers and tomatoes.

2. Obsession  - Confession time. I grew up in a general store, the old fashioned ones with the house and store as one.  I recall at 12-13 years old sneaking down stairs in the middle of the night and going into the store to get a 12 pack of butter tarts.  Since that was too hard on my conscience I took up baking.  My Mom was thrilled.  To this day I cannot bake without getting very anxious.

3. Increase intake -  Once I started baking there was no limit. My parents only allowed my brother and I to have one .25 treat a week from the store but we were allowed to eat as much "food" as we wanted.  This is also when my eating disorder of binging and starving started.  It would last for about 12 years until I got pregnant and I went into Mother-mode.

4. Loss of control - Even though I was out of control while living at home it was when I went away to school at 18 that I really sunk into the addiction.  I had my own apartment and would often hole up for an entire weekend eating only candy and cans of Betty Crocker icing.  I would eat until I was literally throwing up.  And let's not forget all the times I would  throw something out and then dig it back out of the garbage.  Fortunately it was only our of my own garbage.

5. Abuse despite harm -  I knew I had a problem, At 16 I told my Mom and doctor and showed them an article about eating disorders.  The doctor told me it was nothing and my Mom was relieved. Still at 20 years old I had read enough to know I was harming my body but was powerless to stop.

7. Withdrawal symptoms - If any of you has ever tried to stop sugar you know how hard it is.  One time I could not get off of the couch for 3 days as the headaches, shakes, nausea, aches and pains were so bad.  But to be fair, that was after coming off of a 3 or 4 month stint of a steady diet of mostly candy.  

I don't know if you can relate to any part of my experience but here is what I know for sure. This past year I have conducted my own experiment:  I feel great and in control when I don't eat sugar and like crap and out of control when I do.  Pretty simple.

So, where am with my addiction today?  I continue to say I'm an addict because I still have mini relapses that remind me.  I try to cut out all sugar but admit to occasionally having a bite or two of my husbands ice cream cone.  Since 76% of packaged food has added sugar it's really hard to avoid it altogether but I try.

I would be remiss if I didn't post the known harmful effects of sugar on our bodies. These are in addition to, of course, the mental roller coaster ride caused by daily sugar consumption while trying to lose weight.  You know exactly what I'm talking about, don't you?

Now if all of the above don't make you take a pause and re-think sugar, let's go back to the role sugar plays in your life.  Do experience any or all of the signs of addiction?  Are you saying yes but still believe you can "handle it"?  Are you able to abstain from sugar for a day or two, maybe a week but then hit it hard like it's the last time you'll ever have it because it's leaving the planet?  Are you sick and tired of your weight loss being hijacked by little white crystals? Maybe it's time to make a change.  I promise you life without sugar is still worth living!  

Oh, and the reason I did not lose more weight 

when I cut out the sugar....they're called chips.

Let your vanity help you lose weight!

We all know that sugar, salt and trans fats are bad for our health yet we ignore the staggering scientific facts and continue to eat them regularly.  We also know they're a huge hindrance to losing and maintaining weight yet we insist on working them into our daily and weekly plans because we have "the points" for them!

This week I'm going to appeal to your sense of vanity, a quality I possess, and in this instance, has served me well over the years.

Sugar and trans fats cause inflammation which produce enzymes that break down collagen and elastin, resulting in sagging skin and wrinkles. Plus eating sugar can cause insulin resistance which can manifest as excessive hair growth and dark patches on the skin.  That's nice.


That could be you.  Sodium decrease the amount of water intake of your internal organs and when they are thirsty and dehydrated they steal the water out of your skin. Check the amount of processed food sneaking into your diet as it tends to be very high in salt AND sugar.



This one is the main reason I skip sugar, it causes hot flashes which make sleeping almost impossible and lack of sleep also ages your skin. Sadly artificial sugar mimics sugar in more ways than one. Bam, triple whammy!

And for all you young people just remember,

what you do in your 20's, 30's and 40's comes back 

to bite you in the ass during your 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's!  

Old habits die hard.

A mass shooting in Orlando, an alligator drags toddler into the water at Disney resort, a 16 year old Stirling boy still suffers from traumatic brain injury from horrific car accident, my friend Donna is still dead, my friend Sylvia is thrilled her chemo may buy her another year of life and I continue to be obsessed with losing 6 pounds.  WTF?

Why does it take something sad happening in the world before I give myself a slap upside the head and vow to stop hating my wobbly bits and concentrate on loving what's important?  Why can't I live my life knowing that my wobbly bits are just bits and not me?  Why can I not be grateful for my wobbly bits all of the time instead of just for fleeting moments when the true reality of life jars me into doing so?

Why?  Because such is the strength of habit.  It has been my habit to be negative about myself for as long as I can remember.  I will only say this about how this habit developed: praise the children in your life, acknowledge their accomplishments, let them know how capable they really are and don't make them spend their lives trying to earn your approval.

We develop habits out of need, some serve us well, others hold us back but either way they help make us who we are and we need to peel away those that no longer serves us.  When it comes to peeling away the habit of negative thought it's tricky, after all, that's where we live.  Trying to banish negative thoughts doesn't seem to work because that action comes from a place of resistance and what we resists persists.  In other words getting pissed off about our negative thoughts just gives them more power!

I love this approach. By concentrating on releasing the negative thought by acknowledging that we know longer need it sets up a new healthy self-loving habit.  So the next time you have a negative thought about your body repeat the following, "I release the need for this in my life".   

And then say thank you to your wobbly bits for 

unlike bad habits, they have served you well.

"I can't believe I have to watch everything I eat for the next 25 years"! A real statement by a very successful LT member.

This weeks blog could also be called "Even LT members get the blues!"  Last week while weighing in this slightly over goal LT member she startled me with a very emotional "I can't believe I have to watch everything I eat for the next 25 years"!  What startled me was not the statement but the emotion behind it.  This member has always seemed to take the process in stride and with optimism, but in truth even LT's get the blues.  My heart ached for her, I knew exactly how she felt.

We often talk/laugh about the true meaning of Lifetime...it means it's for LIFE and it NEVER ends! Can you remember when that realization hit you?  Or has it not hit you yet?  It never ends.

But just because we know and accept that it never ends doesn't mean we are free from feeling the occasional weight of it all on our shoulders. It happens and because it happens we have no choice but to accept it and then figure out what to do about it.  

I've been all of those!  How about you? I think the hardest thing for me was accepting that what once got me to goal and helped me maintain that goal didn't work for me anymore.  I continued to do the same things that got me to goal, being ever so optimistic that they would work again.....they did not! So I finally became a realist and adjusted my sails.  And for me adjusting my sails meant not only adjusting my daily target but also adjusting my daily thoughts.  I will say adjusting ones thoughts may just be the most important step.

There comes a time when we all need to adjust our sails, no matter where we are on our weight loss journey.  Did you once have wonderful success on the Plan and now it doesn't seem to be working? Are you stalled but keep optimistically doing what you've been doing all along waiting for it to start working again?  Are you the pessimist who complains that the Plan does not work?  Are you working only part of the Plan but expecting to get full Plan results?  Are you an LT member who is beyond frustrated that you have to watch everything you eat for the next 25 years?  

Don't give up, 

just adjust your sails so you can continue to

move toward your goal, or back to goal.

Every summer has it's own story. What will yours be this year?

By now we've had a nice little taste of summer, BBQ's, ice cream, drinks on the porch and a scale that refuses to let any any of it slide!  Now is the time we need to ask ourselves, "Am I willing to throw my summer weight loss/maintenance goals away for another year?"  I can hear a resounding "No!!!!!".  But if we don't make, and commit to, a plan of action that is exactly what we're doing.

Correct me if I'm wrong but this is how the past few weeks have been:  Monday to Friday (or whenever your work week falls) you manage to get the fruits and veggies in and cook up lean protein so you can make great on-Plan choices.  But then the end of the work week rolls around and since the weather is finally nice we feel entitled to relax and for us that usually means enjoying anything from fast food to our favourite mayonnaise-laden summer salads. It's only Friday and our weekly allowance is gone but that's okay we'll stay within our daily budgets for the rest of the weekend, right?  Nope!  The next morning you wake up and the weather is beautiful and you remember the patio is open at your favourite restaurant, or you think what a great day for a wine tour, or ...insert " just about anything else that tickles your summer fancy" here!  And just like that the summer weekend has voided most, if not all, of your weeks work.  So, is this how it's going to be from now until Labour Day?  Actually, it's more like two weeks after Labour Day before we get back on track.  Remember how we were going to get back on track January 2?  Ya right, more like January 22!

So, now is the time to plan the outline for your summer story.  Does it involve lots of fun and excess? Or does it involve lots of fun and planned indulgences?  Will your summer story end with you frustrated that yet another summer has gone by and you're no closer to your goal?  Or will it end with you the hero of your story, proud of yourself, in control and on Plan?

Are you just going through the motions of being a Weight Watcher?

Sometimes when we've been doing something for a long time we think we're still doing it with the same intent and gusto as when we first started but are we?  If we're no longer getting the same results, are we still really putting in the same efforts?  Or are we just going through the motions?

If you find you are stagnating perhaps it's time to take a good honest look at your efforts.  And really, if you have been doing this for a long time there is a good chance your efforts have dwindled or at least changed.  I've had to re-evaluate my efforts more than a few times over the years!

Never mistake motion or for action: 

 how can we examine this when it comes to being a Weight Watcher?

-Do you faithfully go to your meetings but have hit a plateau in your weight loss?

-Do you consider yourself a good food planner but in reality find that several days a week you have to order in or take a frozen something out of the freezer?

-Your consider yourself a walker/swimmer/gym person but in the past few months your usual 4 to 5 times a week has dropped to 1 or 2 times a week?

-You were a tracking star when you first started but now track less than half the time because you eat the same food all the time so "know" how much you're taking in?

-You used to work all sides of the plan: food, fitness and fulfillment but when you think of it very little new effort is aimed in their direction?

If some or all of the above apply to you, perhaps you are just going through the motions but without true action.  If this is you, welcome to the club, because all of the examples from above are from my own personal experience!  

And if you're not moving forward,

 perhaps it's time to re-evaluate and see what are 

truly actions and what are just motions.

The trouble is, you think you have time. Buddha

Last week my dear friend Donna had a bad headache which turned out to be an aneurysm and she died.  That is the short version of the story.  Her death has left us all reeling and I can't help but search for the meaning of it all and I keep coming back to this: stop wasting time.

Here's my personal "Stop Wasting Time" to-do list:

Stop wasting time worrying, if you can do something about it, do it, if not let it go.

Stop wasting time on people who don't value you, and by this I mean stop trying to change them into the person who gets what a fantastic person you are.

Stop wasting time on what you think other people think of you, they don't really think about you all that much, they're too busy thinking about their own shit.

Stop wasting time being fearful of trying something new, the worst thing that can happen is that you don't like it or you're not good at it and neither of those things will kill you.

Stop wasting time measuring yourself with someone else's stick.  I guarantee when you die no one with talk about your thighs or your stomach.

Stop wasting bucket list time:  if there is something you'd like to do or somewhere you'd like to go that requires you to be be under the age of 80 because of the possible physical limitations, do it now. 

Stop wasting time hanging on to past pain which when you think of it encompasses most of the above so we must consider this one a super time waster.

Stop wasting time setting a goal, making plans of how to achieve it and then never actually put those plans into action.  If you're not going to act then planning is a waste of time.

Stop wasting time thinking you have more time, you don't.  You just have now.

And for those of us who say we don't have time....

One thing I know for sure is if I live to be the grand old broad I aspire to be, I really don't want to fill my time thinking of all the time I wasted. 


 

What a difference a day makes.

As much as I like to write about how emotions and thoughts can influence our chance of success, every once in a while I have go back to some hard truths about daily behaviour.  Does your daily behaviour represent a true desire to change? Are you doing what is necessary daily for lasting change or are you doing the hokey-pokey?  You know, "Right foot in, right foot out, right foot in, then you shake it all about"....the hokey-pokey, you're shaking your leg but you're not moving forward. 

I've seen it time and time again (and I've lived it time and time again so I'm not pointing figures here!) where members get all fired up for change and have 1 or 2 successful weeks and then right back to their old habits: not tracking, not exercising, not planning, missing meetings, etc.  Why?  Why does that happen?  I think if you are truly honest with yourself you will admit that you are not willing to do what it takes to change daily.  You want to change, would like to change but when it comes to actually doing what it takes to change on a  daily basis, you're not there yet.  

This may seem daunting but really, from my experience, living in limbo is much, much, worse.  Living with the highs of a few days or weeks of success and then living with the crippling lows when is all falls apart yet again is exhausting and breaks down our already fragile psyche. 

One final thought about the hokey-pokey, 

                                see you at the next meeting!

How I indulge but not overindulge.

Indulge: to allow oneself to enjoy a particular pleasure

Overindulge: to indulge in a particular pleasure to excess

Eating a normal amount of sweets or bread has always been almost impossible for me, hence, my no sugar habit since last July.  I'm fortunate that bread and other dough foods do not agree with me so I gave them up long ago.  One could make the point (that one being my husband) that I've not lost a pound since giving up sugar and I will agree the point.  But here's the rub (the rub: a difficulty, especially one of central importance in a situation): even though I have not lost weight because of no sweets, I know without a shadow of a doubt if I had continued to eat sweets my weight would have gone up!!  And I would've had to suffer through my weekly sugar-binge hangovers...not pleasant. 

But I'm off topic. How to indulge but not overindulge. I still have plenty of indulgences and the only way I can keep from crossing into overindulging territory is to control the amount purchased.  So for me the means indulging at a restaurant or buying a very specific amount at the grocery store to enjoy at home.

Every one is different and you may be one of those lucky people who can portion out a dessert and keep/freeze the rest for later, buy a big bag of chips and divide it up into portioned baggies, get those cookies on sale and have just 1 each day with your tea, or buy the gallon of ice cream because 1/4 of a cup is plenty for you.

OR...you are exactly like me BUT hope, wish and dream you're not!  So you keep bringing your "excess pleasure" food into your house telling yourself this time will be different.  This time you're going to get those baggies out and count out 21 chips. This time, although you've never done it before, that big honkin' cheesecake is going into the freezer for next time.  Wrong, they all go into your mouth, 'cause you're just like me.  And if for some reason you do not eat all of the cake/chips/ice cream/cookies, having it call your name until you do is agony and soul destroying (soul destroying may be just me, I tend to be high drama).

There's nothing wrong with you, or me, we're just not equipped with the portion control gene.  So for us portion control must be taken out of our hands.  And that's okay, in fact, it's wonderful!  Imagine how you'd feel if you enjoyed a lovely piece of confectionery heaven knowing when it was finished there wasn't anymore to torture you?  I'll tell you how you'd feel: in control and on Plan.  I guess that's why for now I will continue to not eat desserts.  Ribs on the other hand, bring 'em on!

Love your broken bits.

Do you find yourself mired in the yoyo diet muck?  I have, many times.  And every time it happens I look to what I'm eating and the amount of exercise I'm doing, after all one or both of them must be the culprit right?  Maybe or maybe not so much.

I wouldn't say I'm content with the part of me that's broken but neither am I totally accepting and at peace with it either.  I still yoyo between self love and loathe...but the self loathe times occur less often and pass much more quickly. I attribute that progress to working daily on accepting what is and then being grateful for all of the wonderful things in my life.  When you accept and are grateful self love seems to follow.

So if you are constantly stuck and mired down, constantly struggling to stay on your weight loss plan or any life plan for that matter take a deeper look.  

Are your broken bits dominating your thoughts, therefore your life?  

And if they do, what do you do with those thoughts?  

Ignore them? 

Cry over them? 

Dismiss them? 

Try to convince yourself they are no longer part of you?

Or sink into them as if that's where you belong?  

I can tell you for me none of these tactics work.  It may seem like you are controlling and conquering your broken bits but you're not.  You are just giving them power. It's only through accepting and loving your broken bits will they become powerless over you. They won't disappear, they are part of you, but they will agree to sit down and shut up! Think of them as a pain in the butt relative, they're not going anywhere, and they'll always be around at Christmas, but you accept them and dinner will be over shortly.

If there is a battle going on inside of you and you realize you're content with being broken because that's the way it's always been, try to change your attitude towards those poor bits.  They're not bad or wrong, they're just broken and love and acceptance is the glue. 

If you have no idea what I've been writing about lucky you...be grateful! :)

Just realized the hold food really has on me!

Have you ever found out that a lovely acquaintance has died?  That happened to me on Saturday.  I read a friends post about Susan and a bursary being set up in her name.  I immediately went online to Belleville obituaries and was shocked to read that,  yes, Susan had indeed died but, almost a year ago! I was stunned, absolutely stunned.  How did I not hear?

As I mentioned we were only acquaintances, we had done several shows together and ran into each other every now and again.  But I really liked her, she was kind, generous and so genuine with no hidden agenda.  Reading about her death at age 58 took the wind out of my sails.  It was a strange feeling because the feelings I had were as if she had just passed but in fact she has been gone from this earth for almost a year.  A year!

And Susan was just 58.  A seemingly healthy 58 year old who got cancer and died. And I'm embarrassed to say my first reaction was "Well, shit, what's the point of me giving up sugar?"  So tied am I to food that my first thought of living life to the fullest was to go back to eating dessert!  I thought why am I wasting precious time not enjoying the high fat, high sugar food I love?

After a moment or two I came back to my senses and took notice of the food thoughts.  I looked at them without judgement, just looked at them for what they are: old thoughts from an old story.  It's not who I am anymore.  Who I am now is someone making a daily effort to be healthy, live well and enjoy life. Because the fact of the matter is none of us ever know what lies ahead.  All we can do is take the time we're given and make the very best of it, and for me, and maybe for you too, making peace with my old thoughts about self worthiness and food and replacing them with ones of love, joy and health is time well spent.  Everything in life and death can be a lesson.

What would this Weight Watcher do?

I have moments of clarity when I get a taste of what "getting it" is like.  I had a moment this past weekend, and wouldn't you know it involved Nachos and chips, well, Party Mix, to be exact.

My husband and I often go out to eat once on the weekend and usually I stay within my daily + weekly points but this time I had Nachos on the brain and you know what that's like!  I hadn't had Nachos for years, in fact, my husband says he's never seen me order them.  So, I decided I really wanted them...and ordered a LARGE...of course, and it was so HUGE the lady at the next table laughed.  So I asked myself, what would a Weight Watcher do, and then ate just half and took the rest home.  The next morning I had thoughts of tossing them out (along with the extra sour cream the waitress so kindly packed) but just couldn't do it....I really wanted them for breakfast!  Asked myself again, what would a Weight Watcher do, and decided this Weight Watcher would eat just the ones with topping on them and then toss the rest, along with the sour cream. And that's exactly what I did...yay!  You get what a big deal that was for me, right?

I got right back on Plan with my lunch but then in the late afternoon I needed Party Mix, yes, needed, Party Mix. This was not a surprise to me, when I have starchy carbs I always want more starchy carbs!  My husband came home with a large bag of Party Mix which I immediately tore into while watching the last of the "Hunger Games" movies (perfect, don't you think? haha Hunger Games!).  Hubby said he thought we had a raccoon in the house with the rustling of the bag!  But then something happened, I took notice of my level of satiety and realized even though I was just half way through the bag that I was full.  Now I had a dilemma: I was very aware I was incapable of putting them away for next week but I didn't want to just polish them off like I normally would....so what would this Weight Watcher do??  I decided I would pick out the rest of the cheezies, my favourite part, and then throw the rest away.  And that's what I did.  I felt really good about myself. I also felt good knowing that I would get right back on Plan

.  

Then, something happened. 

I felt even better when I realized that I wasn't off  Plan,

because sometimes Nachos and Party Mix are on Plan.

That's what this Weight Watcher thought.

Be strong, ask for help.

As we grow up, somewhere along the way we start to perceive that asking for help is a sign of weakness.  I think it starts when we first taste a bit of independence and are praised for it so we think staunch self-reliance is the only way to be. Why aren't we taught not only the value of asking for help, but how to ask for help?  I remember teaching my son two very important coping skills: how to apologize with grace and how to ask for help without feeling inadequate.  I taught him because I didn't know how to do myself for a long time.

When it comes to asking for help the "without feeling inadequate" is really important and that's why coming to meetings or talking to other members is so important.  Everyone at your meeting feels the exact same way as you do and knows what you're going through.  You might be nervous about asking for help because it's out of your comfort zone but please, please, never feel inadequate.  You are more than adequate, you just need a little help. And like everything else it gets easier the more you do it!

Some members don't feel inadequate but they fear looking weak.  They are so strong and capable in all facets of their lives but this one.  This one single relationship has the power to cripple them. For those members try to look at asking for help as a sign of strength and taking control.

And sometimes you will be the one who is asked to help. 

See it as a privilege and an honor to give someone hope, advice 

or just empathetic attention.

Is your weight loss goal overshadowing the rest of your life?

Have you ever felt that all you think about is weight loss?  That's a silly question, of course you have!

I've been feeling that way for some time now.  I guess when you've had a 45 year goal it tends to take over your thoughts.  I've began to wonder if my intense focus on this one goal has overshadowed other potential life goals.  It stands to reason that one only has so much brain power and energy at any given time so if one goal is all consuming other goals are set aside, or even worse, not even given consideration.

And here's another thought: by continually focusing all of our thoughts on this goal of weight loss are we actually keeping weight loss success out of our reach?  We are what we think.  If we always think of ourselves as someone who needs to lose weight then we will always be someone who needs to lose weight. And so the vicious cycle continues and other things, other wonderful things, in our lives get left behind.  Life is too short to have all of our possibly amazing experiences overshadowed by one goal.

So what do we do to put our goal of weight loss into perspective so it's doesn't overshadow the rest of our lives?

I believe the key here is to move our thoughts on weight lose from planning the ways to living the ways.  Plans are what we need to get started, but once the plans are made we need to move out of the planning stage and settle into living stage. If you live your plan it will become part of who you are and you won't have to think about it so much therefore freeing up your time to seek new goals. Have you noticed that planning how to lose weight takes up a lot of time? And for some of us who've been doing it for years, and know what we need to do, what a waste of precious time.

Change your daily plan to lose weight to living that plan daily.

One easy way to start living your plan is to address all your food situations with one question:

What would a Weight Watcher do?  And then do that.

"Well, I woke up Sunday mornin' with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt"...Johnny Cash

In reality it was this morning, Monday morning, but that's the song that's running through my head. Yesterday was my birthday and I don't care at all about birthdays, except for the food I give myself permission to have, so I decided instead of going out to dinner I wanted to go to the movies and have a full fledged carb-out: my own bag of popcorn with butter, chip-nuts, and party-mix all washed down with a HUGE, and let's not forget aspartame filled, Diet Coke.  And I thoroughly enjoyed it all. But, of course, when we got home, because I had crashed from my carbo-high so I needed more....so I made, and ate, a box of fat free, sugar free, carb loaded pistachio jello pudding...all 2 cups of it.  It made my heart race, seriously, I was having palpitations. Then I went to bed.

I tossed and turned all night with a churning stomach and hot flashes and am totally useless today. My head aches, my body aches, I can't focus on any one task and all I want to do is go back to bed!

So was it worth it?  I have to say for the most part yes although I think foregoing the pudding would have been a wise move.  

Am I happy with how I planned it?  Again, yes. I thought it out for days, yup, days! I went to the Bulk Barn and bought about a hand full of chip nuts and 2 hand fulls of party-mix...AND for the first time ever, bought a small popcorn.  The last time I did this kind of carb-out was perhaps 5 years ago and compared to my "old days" it was nothin'!

I've become really aware of how putting that crap into my body has made me feel like crap. I usually eat veggies, fruit, eggs, meat and dairy so I know for certain all my aches and pains are a direct result of eating all that crap.  My body usually hums along nicely, today it's shaking, aching and wondering what I have against it!

We are what we eat.  Do you feel tired, aching, and generally crappy a lot of the time?  Maybe you think that's just the way it is.  It's not.  Give your body a chance to feel good by eating healthy food for a while and I guarantee the next time you have a carb-out-pig-out you'll be singing the same tune I was this morning. 

The power of a meeting.

Last week we talked about internal and external hunger and after our Friday meeting I experienced a powerful external trigger.  My friend had just finished her first chemo for her stage 4 colon cancer and I was picking her up at the hospital to take her home to Napanee, so as you can imagine the "trigger" stage was set.  Seeing someone you love start on that kind of journey, which let's face it, has no good outcome affects each of us differently.  For me I get the "Well in the end what does it all matter so I might as well eat" feeling and was immediately thinking of fast food take out.  After all, what does it really matter?

Fortunately, as I always do, I had snacks with me: 2 apples, my favourite coconut 4 SP protein bar and a thermos of coffee. A good thing too as I still had to go on to Kingston to make a return for my friend. Then I got lost, and then the return did not go well and then it was 6 pm and I was frustrated, sad, mad, tired and thoroughly pissed off....at Kingston and wonky Princess Street, at the store for it's stupid return policy, at F@#&ING cancer AND at all the people going through the Wendy's drive thru because I so badly wanted to join them.  But I didn't. I didn't because I had just come from a meeting. I truly believe the meeting made the difference. It helped me to think about my goal and to say "It really does matter."

So I ate my protein bar and two apples, drank my coffee and went home.

What's it going to take before we stop eating junk food?

What is it going to take to get North Americans to eat better?  What shocking piece of new evidence needs to come out to make us finally get the crap we let pass for food off of our plates? What if scientists told us eating foods high in saturated fat and sugar can cause heart disease, high blood pressure that can lead to strokes, type 2 Diabetes and cancer?  Oh wait....they do.  What if experts told us that our daily walk or even daily run is not enough to offset the negative impact of our crappy diets?  Oh wait...they do.. Are we just so used to reading and hearing about it that we have become desensitized to the truth? 

Anyone who is reading this blog knows the above is true but what does it make you think about your own food choices?  It's not that we don't know, we know, we all KNOW and we still don't do anything about it. Why??  What do we need to see and read that will make us change the food on our plates?  

This???

Shocking and scary isn't it?  Or is it?  Maybe we just say to ourselves, "Well, I have a friend who eats healthy foods, walks and plays golf 3 times a week and she was just diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and my grandfather ate and drank whatever he wanted and he lived to be 87!."  In fact that is exactly the diagnosis a dear friend of mine just received and my husband's grandfather did eat whatever he wanted and lived to be 87.  We all know people with similar stories and we can rationalize anything but we all know the real truth: our food can kill or cure.  

So it's back to being a choice, and aren't most things in life always a choice?   We must first choose to be healthy and then do what we need to do to get there.  The odd bit of junk food is not going to kill you, remember it's what you do everyday that counts not what you do once in a while.

Maybe start here: