Love your broken bits.

Do you find yourself mired in the yoyo diet muck?  I have, many times.  And every time it happens I look to what I'm eating and the amount of exercise I'm doing, after all one or both of them must be the culprit right?  Maybe or maybe not so much.

I wouldn't say I'm content with the part of me that's broken but neither am I totally accepting and at peace with it either.  I still yoyo between self love and loathe...but the self loathe times occur less often and pass much more quickly. I attribute that progress to working daily on accepting what is and then being grateful for all of the wonderful things in my life.  When you accept and are grateful self love seems to follow.

So if you are constantly stuck and mired down, constantly struggling to stay on your weight loss plan or any life plan for that matter take a deeper look.  

Are your broken bits dominating your thoughts, therefore your life?  

And if they do, what do you do with those thoughts?  

Ignore them? 

Cry over them? 

Dismiss them? 

Try to convince yourself they are no longer part of you?

Or sink into them as if that's where you belong?  

I can tell you for me none of these tactics work.  It may seem like you are controlling and conquering your broken bits but you're not.  You are just giving them power. It's only through accepting and loving your broken bits will they become powerless over you. They won't disappear, they are part of you, but they will agree to sit down and shut up! Think of them as a pain in the butt relative, they're not going anywhere, and they'll always be around at Christmas, but you accept them and dinner will be over shortly.

If there is a battle going on inside of you and you realize you're content with being broken because that's the way it's always been, try to change your attitude towards those poor bits.  They're not bad or wrong, they're just broken and love and acceptance is the glue. 

If you have no idea what I've been writing about lucky you...be grateful! :)

Just realized the hold food really has on me!

Have you ever found out that a lovely acquaintance has died?  That happened to me on Saturday.  I read a friends post about Susan and a bursary being set up in her name.  I immediately went online to Belleville obituaries and was shocked to read that,  yes, Susan had indeed died but, almost a year ago! I was stunned, absolutely stunned.  How did I not hear?

As I mentioned we were only acquaintances, we had done several shows together and ran into each other every now and again.  But I really liked her, she was kind, generous and so genuine with no hidden agenda.  Reading about her death at age 58 took the wind out of my sails.  It was a strange feeling because the feelings I had were as if she had just passed but in fact she has been gone from this earth for almost a year.  A year!

And Susan was just 58.  A seemingly healthy 58 year old who got cancer and died. And I'm embarrassed to say my first reaction was "Well, shit, what's the point of me giving up sugar?"  So tied am I to food that my first thought of living life to the fullest was to go back to eating dessert!  I thought why am I wasting precious time not enjoying the high fat, high sugar food I love?

After a moment or two I came back to my senses and took notice of the food thoughts.  I looked at them without judgement, just looked at them for what they are: old thoughts from an old story.  It's not who I am anymore.  Who I am now is someone making a daily effort to be healthy, live well and enjoy life. Because the fact of the matter is none of us ever know what lies ahead.  All we can do is take the time we're given and make the very best of it, and for me, and maybe for you too, making peace with my old thoughts about self worthiness and food and replacing them with ones of love, joy and health is time well spent.  Everything in life and death can be a lesson.

What would this Weight Watcher do?

I have moments of clarity when I get a taste of what "getting it" is like.  I had a moment this past weekend, and wouldn't you know it involved Nachos and chips, well, Party Mix, to be exact.

My husband and I often go out to eat once on the weekend and usually I stay within my daily + weekly points but this time I had Nachos on the brain and you know what that's like!  I hadn't had Nachos for years, in fact, my husband says he's never seen me order them.  So, I decided I really wanted them...and ordered a LARGE...of course, and it was so HUGE the lady at the next table laughed.  So I asked myself, what would a Weight Watcher do, and then ate just half and took the rest home.  The next morning I had thoughts of tossing them out (along with the extra sour cream the waitress so kindly packed) but just couldn't do it....I really wanted them for breakfast!  Asked myself again, what would a Weight Watcher do, and decided this Weight Watcher would eat just the ones with topping on them and then toss the rest, along with the sour cream. And that's exactly what I did...yay!  You get what a big deal that was for me, right?

I got right back on Plan with my lunch but then in the late afternoon I needed Party Mix, yes, needed, Party Mix. This was not a surprise to me, when I have starchy carbs I always want more starchy carbs!  My husband came home with a large bag of Party Mix which I immediately tore into while watching the last of the "Hunger Games" movies (perfect, don't you think? haha Hunger Games!).  Hubby said he thought we had a raccoon in the house with the rustling of the bag!  But then something happened, I took notice of my level of satiety and realized even though I was just half way through the bag that I was full.  Now I had a dilemma: I was very aware I was incapable of putting them away for next week but I didn't want to just polish them off like I normally would....so what would this Weight Watcher do??  I decided I would pick out the rest of the cheezies, my favourite part, and then throw the rest away.  And that's what I did.  I felt really good about myself. I also felt good knowing that I would get right back on Plan

.  

Then, something happened. 

I felt even better when I realized that I wasn't off  Plan,

because sometimes Nachos and Party Mix are on Plan.

That's what this Weight Watcher thought.

Be strong, ask for help.

As we grow up, somewhere along the way we start to perceive that asking for help is a sign of weakness.  I think it starts when we first taste a bit of independence and are praised for it so we think staunch self-reliance is the only way to be. Why aren't we taught not only the value of asking for help, but how to ask for help?  I remember teaching my son two very important coping skills: how to apologize with grace and how to ask for help without feeling inadequate.  I taught him because I didn't know how to do myself for a long time.

When it comes to asking for help the "without feeling inadequate" is really important and that's why coming to meetings or talking to other members is so important.  Everyone at your meeting feels the exact same way as you do and knows what you're going through.  You might be nervous about asking for help because it's out of your comfort zone but please, please, never feel inadequate.  You are more than adequate, you just need a little help. And like everything else it gets easier the more you do it!

Some members don't feel inadequate but they fear looking weak.  They are so strong and capable in all facets of their lives but this one.  This one single relationship has the power to cripple them. For those members try to look at asking for help as a sign of strength and taking control.

And sometimes you will be the one who is asked to help. 

See it as a privilege and an honor to give someone hope, advice 

or just empathetic attention.