Lost our anchor.

Covid has taken many things for us all but for me, one of the greatest losses I'm feeling is my motivation and inspiration to write.  In 2015 my motivation to start blogging was my WW peeps and my inspirations came to me through coaching the workshops or having private conversations with members.  I always marvelled at the fact that in the space of a few days I would hear the same challenges from different members and the more I thought about what one member had said, the more other members said the same thing; law of attraction at work!  I would scribble lines on bits of paper and finally a clear (or at least to clear to me...haha) message came through; and now, I scribble, I sit and stare at my laptop and nothing. 

And then a few days ago a member sent me a message, "You got me thinking in the middle of the night about my WW journey and I compared it to rowing a boat out into a body of water.  I started rowing 4 1/2 years ago and when Covid hit my boat fell apart. I feel I have been treading water since with no land in sight."  That hit me like a tons of bricks; some days we all feel like we're treading water with no land in sight.  And for many us, our workshop was our boat.  And not only was the workshop our boat, what we heard and learned in those workshops anchored us, so not only do we feel like we're treading water but we also feel like we're drifting farther and farther from shore.

So what do we do?  As this member wrote: "Do I continue to tread water and save myself or do I give up and disappear?"  Such powerful words, they gave me goosebumps!  I've heard the same from other members who feel at times like they don't have the strength to continue but then something inside them reminds them why they started or that if they quit they will end right back up where they started or worse.  So they keep treading water.  And in WW what can treading water mean?  It can mean you track breakfast, go for a walk, call a friend, prep and freeze food, make a plan friendly recipe, attend a virtual workshop, go on Connect, make a gratitude list, drink your water, take a nap, take a shower, measure yourself if you're afraid to step on the scale, journal your feelings, meditate, wear something other than yoga pants, engage on our FB page, pause the TV while you eat, write inspirational messages to yourself, reach out and help someone, reach out ask for help.  All of these things will help anchor you.

And what of the member who wrote to me?  That member decided (at 2 am!) she had come too far to give up so she set her intention to reconnect with her "why" of getting healthier and set about to put her actions in alignment with that goal. So, if you feel you're just treading water right now, remember, treading water is what keeps you from disappearing.

Why do we get stuck? How can we be going along just fine and hit a bump or two and then find ourselves stuck?

I saw this quote when I was prepping for our Roundtable, “To get unstuck, first stop doing the things that got you stuck.” This is so simple, it made me laugh. If your head hurts when you bang it up against the wall, stop banging it up against the wall! So, if thinking negative things about ourselves hurts and keeps us stuck, why do we keep doing it? Habit.

“Before something you want can become a fact, it must first be imagined.” I heard this in one of the many podcasts I listen to, I think it was Michael Bernard Beckworth.

I find this concept very interesting and if it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve had it happen in my own life I might slough it off. When I was younger I made things I imagined happen all the time. I was the biggest daydreamer. I would sit on the hill across from our family store and dream! Mostly, I dreamed about leaving Denbigh haha, but also about being a singer and travelling the world and yes, buying into the sappy Harlequin Romance books. Romance novels should come with a warning label! I would imagine it all in great detail, often right down to what I was wearing or the conversations I would have with the people I would meet…like Johnny Carson. At night I would daydream myself to sleep, a habit I kept up until just a couple of years ago. I would imagine ways to live/work in other countries. I imagined how I would feel! And even through crippling self doubt I made a lot of things happen. Travel for example, when I post a destination on my vision board, I never for a single second think it might not happen. Why? Because I have the proof of many of the many trips that did happen, so I believe. But first, I imagined it. And not just thought of it, I LIVED it in my imagination. I lived it so much, and so often, that my subconscious took it to be fact.

But the parts of my life where I’m stuck?? I now see that I wish for something different BUT I don’t imagine it. I don’t imagine success in these areas and what that would feel like. I don’t envision myself being THAT person with THAT life! Instead, I think about how bad I feel or how unsuccessful I feel and accept it all as truth. Why? Because that is my habit, to believe that certain goals will not happen; I imagined it, LIVED it, so often, that my subconscious took it to be fact. I now know that without exception that every time I’m stuck with a part of my life my thoughts about it stem from a place of lack and disbelief. Even when I’m watching TV I notice how I feel when I watch a scene that depicts something I want for my life. If the show takes place in Europe I get pumped up and as soon as the show is over I go online and search out houses to rent, or buy, yes BUY! (It could happen! haha) Or a place to go and volunteer: NEVER does it cross my mind that it would be impossible for me to volunteer helping women in Tanzania or teach English to kids in Italy. NEVER!! And, other times watching TV, I feel sad and think I will never have that in my life. Why? Habit. We all have scenarios of a life that we believe are possible and so they are. And we have scenarios we believe are not possible and so they are not.

Some of you have a weight goal and cannot, or do not, imagine yourself there, and you’re having a hard time getting to that number or you reach it but have a hard time staying there. Why? Because you don’t really believe you belong there. And why don’t you believe it? Habit.

When it comes to your thoughts about weight loss what is your habit? What are you really thinking, imagining and cementing into your subconscious as fact? “To get unstuck, first stop doing the things that got you stuck.” Aren’t you tired of banging your head up against the wall?

What do I still need to learn?

When I think back on 2020 and try to arrange my thoughts, I am once again reminded of Pema Chödrön’s words “nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know…”.  And the fact that I have used that quote several times in my writings points to the fact that I know I have much to learn.  As a Global community we still have much to learn too, as the events of 2020 have so glaringly pointed out, but we need to look inward first. With so many of my personal distractions unavailable to me I’ve been forced to look inward for comfort to soothe the feelings of cracking up and the result has been mentally cracking open and starting to see so much in a new light.  For a long time I’ve asked myself “what have I learned?” but perhaps I should also ask “what do I still need to learn?”

Yesterday I had a great video chat with a friend, who is also a WW member.  I always marvel at her sense of self, something she says she has always had and attributes to her parents. I’m so curious about people with great self-esteem and how that affects their lives; these are the people who love themselves through all points in their journey. Really, they are like rare and exotic birds to me! 

I recently received an email that made me feel so wonderful and worthy.  As I read it I felt such joy and validation!  What a gift! Not just because it made me feel good, which is great, but because I was able to observe it still so often takes an external source to bring up those feelings.  So, this is obviously one thing I still need to learn to do for myself. This continues to be the piece of my WW puzzle I have yet to solve.

I’m not a fan of setting resolutions but I am a fan of setting intentions.  So, my intention is to build my sense of self by focusing on a daily practice of purposeful and affirming meditation, observing old thought patterns and recognizing/revising unhelpful thoughts. AND, I am definitely going to study the rare birds that I know! 

What are your intentions for 2021?  What have you learned?  What do you still need to learn?  Write it down!