At our Roundtable last night one of the members talked about the thoughts (voices?) she’s had going around in her head these days and it reminded me of this piece I’ve been working on but haven’t been able to finish…until now.
One of the voices in my head has been singing this lyric for a couple of weeks now, which usually means a blog topic is coming to me, but this time nothing. Well, that’s not exactly true, there are ideas but the voices in my head can’t decide on just one. That’s the trouble with the voices in my head, which one do I listen to? For that matter, why should I listen to any of them if many of the voices (thoughts) are not mine, but were given to me? Which voice is really me? All of them? None of them? I think the answer is yes: all of them and none of them. So, in the interest of self-preservation, I’ve decided to take a “keep your friends close and your enemies even closer” approach. If I can’t banish the monster under my bed, then maybe it’s time to befriend it, or at least try to understand it. After all, how hard can it be to make friends with an imaginary life threatening being?
When I was little and I had a
nightmare, my Mom would come in, turn the light on, and prove to me there was
nothing to be afraid of and that I was safe.
She shone a light on the monster who was not under my bed but in my
head. That’s what I’ve decided to do
with the voices in my head, bring them into light and let them be heard. I try not to be judgemental, just curious:
where did you come from, are you mine or did someone give you to me, why have
you popped up now and is it in my best interest to believe what you say? In the past when an upsetting thought came up
my habit was to just accept it, but now I try to observe the thought and
question it: is that true, is that really true?
I can imagine we all have many of the same negative thoughts, like “I’m
always letting people down” or “I’m a failure.”
Ask yourself, is that true? Are
you always letting people down? Really,
always??? Making choices that are in your best interest is not the same as
letting people down, you matter too. And
failing? None of us succeed at every
single we do but that does not make us failures. It makes us human.
Every time we shine a light on
the voices, and question them, we move towards making peace with them which
really is in our best interest, after all, we do have to share head space with
them. So, when your negative voices start to sound off and threaten to disturb
your inner peace, try questioning them. I’ve
found mine don’t like it, and it’s the best way to shut them up! After all, their power comes from you
believing they are true.
