Some are angry, some are sad and some are anxious. What are you feeling?

During these final meetings many members have expressed in one way or another how they felt and let's just say that not one member said "I'm totally fine with it."  Understandably people are angry and sad, and that's what most shared with me but one member, who before the meeting said she was angry, after the meeting said that she has been anxious and nervous since the news.  The next layer down: fear.  She's anxious because she fears she's going to lose control without her "weekly accountability". Even after all of the success she has had "this time around", she is anxious and afraid that all she has learned and all of the healthy new habits she has developed will all go away.  I get it because I feel the same way. I get it because first and foremost, I am a Weight Watcher. 

I don't know about you but when I feel anxious or nervous it usually stems from fear.  I was brought up by fear-driven parents and I must say I excel in the fear department. Why are we afraid it will all go away? What do the people who are able to take the weight off and keep it off have that we don't?  That's the question I have asked at goal members over and over again during the past 10 years.  In Belleville during the non-meeting store hours there was often time to chat with an at-goal member coming in for their monthly weigh in and when I first started coaching I would ask them "How have you kept the weight of for 2, 5, 10 , 30 yrs???"  And it hit me one day what these members have: acceptance.

1. They kept tracking because they had accepted that tracking was a key component that got them to goal and so tracking would keep them at goal.

2.  They continued to weigh themselves regularily, even during the holidays and other stressful/busy times, because they accepted how easy it is to gain 1, 2 or 10 pounds. Weighing themselves helped keep them mindful and make changes after 1 or 2 pounds gained.  Much easier to lose 2 pounds than 10!

3. They accepted their relationship with food.  Most of us have an emotional relationship with food, one that was probably given to us when we were children by the adults in our life.  No blame here, the adults in our lives were likely given theirs too.  I have accepted that even though my full-blown eating disorder is in the past, the emotions that started it all at 10 years old are still part of me. I've accepted that some things about me I can change and others I've just learned to manage.  I do a lot of managing.

4. They accepted that they alone are responsible for their health. The accountability of the weigh-in and the meetings helped them learn new the habits, but they put those habits into action the moment they left the meeting.       

5. They accepted the changes they had made must become part of their lifestyle, AND they did it, and continue to do it willingly and with gratitude.  Why?  Because they never forgot how they felt before losing the weight and getting healthier, and they are grateful every day for how they feel now.

6. And finally, they accepted they had to believe not only in their ability to change but truly believe they are worth the effort.

So going forward I hope you accept what it is you need to do to become your healthiest self and, most importantly, I hope you believe you are worth it.

If you would like to join my Facebook group, If not now, when? as a way to stay connected to others here's the page link and just request to join.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/594855227714542

It's like I'm losing a friend....

While my blog is not always about weight and body image issues....wait, I'd have to go back and look to see if there is one that is not at least connected to weight and body image issues, many of them are because my weight and body image issues go back to some of my very first memories, certainly some of my most vivid ones. 

At 51, the menopause pounds had got the better of me and I joined Weight Watchers. From the moment I went to my first meeting I knew I wanted to be a leader/coach.  I had found my people and I wanted to work with them while they worked on their own weight and body image issues. And then I decided I had more to say (don't I always???) so I started this blog to "keep the conversation going".  And bit by bit, meeting by meeting, blog by blog, I started to heal. Every meeting I take away something that affected me and helped a peice of me heal. Sometimes it was what someone shared, sometimes it happened before the meeting during a one on one chat, sometimes it was just seeing one of you walk through the door after you had been away, sometimes it was just the energy of the collective. Oh, I will miss the energy!

It's like I'm losing a friend because the Weight Watcher staff and groups have helped me so much. They helped me rebuild my life when I moved to Cobourg, and when I moved to Kingston to be with my partner, I knew once again Weight Watchers was going to help me find a whole group of new friends, ones I just hadn't met yet!  From the first meetings I felt at home, because we are all the same. So yes, our Weight Watcher collective is my friend and I will miss it terribly. Yes, we are still friends but our collective challenge of weight and body image issues brought us together every week and reminded us that we are understood, we are seen, we are heard and most importantly, we matter and we are not alone. And I think we will all miss those reminders.