Wednesday, 22 March 2023

Some are angry, some are sad and some are anxious. What are you feeling?

During these final meetings many members have expressed in one way or another how they felt and let's just say that not one member said "I'm totally fine with it."  Understandably people are angry and sad, and that's what most shared with me but one member, who before the meeting said she was angry, after the meeting said that she has been anxious and nervous since the news.  The next layer down: fear.  She's anxious because she fears she's going to lose control without her "weekly accountability". Even after all of the success she has had "this time around", she is anxious and afraid that all she has learned and all of the healthy new habits she has developed will all go away.  I get it because I feel the same way. I get it because first and foremost, I am a Weight Watcher. 

I don't know about you but when I feel anxious or nervous it usually stems from fear.  I was brought up by fear-driven parents and I must say I excel in the fear department. Why are we afraid it will all go away? What do the people who are able to take the weight off and keep it off have that we don't?  That's the question I have asked at goal members over and over again during the past 10 years.  In Belleville during the non-meeting store hours there was often time to chat with an at-goal member coming in for their monthly weigh in and when I first started coaching I would ask them "How have you kept the weight of for 2, 5, 10 , 30 yrs???"  And it hit me one day what these members have: acceptance.

1. They kept tracking because they had accepted that tracking was a key component that got them to goal and so tracking would keep them at goal.

2.  They continued to weigh themselves regularily, even during the holidays and other stressful/busy times, because they accepted how easy it is to gain 1, 2 or 10 pounds. Weighing themselves helped keep them mindful and make changes after 1 or 2 pounds gained.  Much easier to lose 2 pounds than 10!

3. They accepted their relationship with food.  Most of us have an emotional relationship with food, one that was probably given to us when we were children by the adults in our life.  No blame here, the adults in our lives were likely given theirs too.  I have accepted that even though my full-blown eating disorder is in the past, the emotions that started it all at 10 years old are still part of me. I've accepted that some things about me I can change and others I've just learned to manage.  I do a lot of managing.

4. They accepted that they alone are responsible for their health. The accountability of the weigh-in and the meetings helped them learn new the habits, but they put those habits into action the moment they left the meeting.       

5. They accepted the changes they had made must become part of their lifestyle, AND they did it, and continue to do it willingly and with gratitude.  Why?  Because they never forgot how they felt before losing the weight and getting healthier, and they are grateful every day for how they feel now.

6. And finally, they accepted they had to believe not only in their ability to change but truly believe they are worth the effort.

So going forward I hope you accept what it is you need to do to become your healthiest self and, most importantly, I hope you believe you are worth it.

If you would like to join my Facebook group, If not now, when? as a way to stay connected to others here's the page link and just request to join.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/594855227714542




1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi Joanne! It’s Charlene from Trenton Ww group. I moved 3 hrs away and have come a little unglued still under goal but not much of a cushion any more. I just wanted to let you know that you and Karen and the rest of your team were just the most amazing team. This is such a huge loss. Plus the loss of our virtual with Karen was huge. I’ve started going to a couple other virtuals and to an in person meeting but they don’t compare to the amazing team in Trenton. It’s just not as inspiring. I do read your blogs and am so glad your life is working out and you are happy! I’m not a Facebook person and would join your group if I was. I just wanted to say hello and to thank you for being so inspiring! Keep writing you have a gift!