Thursday, 29 October 2020

Has Covid become a justifiable excuse for us to put our lives on hold?

Here’s an absolutely hypothetical example, this is not about a real person and she does not sometimes have straight, and sometimes wavy, red hair. We’ll call her J.  When Covid hit in March and it sunk in that it was here to stay, J. decided it was the perfect time to try online dating.  That’s what I like about J., she’s such a deep thinker with lofty goals.  Her friends had been after her to get “back out there” and since the thought of dating made her want to throw up, she thought online dating with the wall of Covid around it would be safe and less scary.  A way to move forward while standing still. Poor deluded J., thankfully an actual person would not think this way. 😏

To say the beast that is online dating is cruel with the ability to disembowel its’ victims might be overstating it, but it’s not!  Sometimes, that is how it feels, or at least that’s how J. describes it.  And now, after more than a few bad outcomes, J. has met someone she would like to get to know but she finds herself halted with the fear of Covid. Just when she was finally willing to go outside of her deeply entrenched comfort zone there is a pandemic!  Can’t a girl catch a break?  Even hypothetically? Apparently not in 2020.

Even though logically J. knew she had weighed the risks of getting to know Bachelor #17 and they were minimal, still the fear of Covid put the kibosh on all plans to meet.  Or did it? Overthinker J. searched and searched her brain for the answer.  The more she searched for reasons not to meet up, the more her brain gave her because that’s what search engines do.  So, just like we do when we can’t remember a specific name or place, she let it go so the real answer could reveal itself. “Life doesn’t cause how we feel, it reveals how we feel.” Carol Howe   

Is Covid causing how J. feels, or revealing how she feels?  Is J. using Covid as an excuse to not meet Bachelor #17?  Is the fear something other than what she is convincing herself it is?  Through meditation, letting go and allowing the answer to come to her, J. realizes she is really using Covid as an excuse to not feel vulnerable by opening herself up for rejection and loss.  Her original intention of using Covid as a wall of safety has now become a barrier to living.  J. knows she does not want to put her life on hold until Covid is over. She also knows life is not going to knock on her door without her first extending an invitation.  Yes, during a pandemic the invitation to life looks a lot different but it can still be extended. Of course, J.’s story is just a hypothetical example of how one could allow fear to cripple them, but it could happen. 😏

The pandemic has forced us all to live differently but it’s still our job to always try and live our best life.  How might you be putting your life on hold?  Are you always saying, and thinking, “when the pandemic is over and things are back to normal I’ll…...”?  What feelings are coming up for you now?  Is Covid causing how you feel, or revealing how you feel?   

 

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