Really? Then I've been going about it the wrong way! Think about what makes you happy. I’m going to hazard a guess that for most of us the list would go something like this: partner, family, friends, pets, job, travel, sports, reading, spa days, gym days, eating in a restaurant…and the list could go on and on. But not one of these things comes from inside us, yet all of these things can affect how we feel which affects our happiness. But what if you had none of these things at this very moment? Could you be happy? What if you had many, or all, of these things, is happiness guaranteed?
At different points in my life I’ve
had all of the things I listed. Was I
happy all the time? No. Was I happy most
of the time? No. When the external
things in my life were going well I was happy.
But when the external things in my life went away, or changed, I found
my happiness went with them. My
happiness was dependent on what I could do, be, or have. I thought I had been cultivating inner peace
for years but turns out not nearly enough; when I was happy I stopped
cultivating. Covid has forced me to
change. Or rather, Covid has given me
the opportunity to change; the decision to change, or not, is still in my
hands.
Every morning I have a decision
to make: I can think about the day ahead of me and find the joy in it or I can
relegate it to just another day of not getting to do all the things that make
me happy. But most importantly, since
most of my day will be spent inside my head, I need to distract my monkey-mind
from the ever-present catastrophic “what-if” scenarios of the future without having
my long list happy, happy, joy, joys to lean on. I’m really starting to see how much I lived in
the future, always lining up the next external source of happiness.
I’m sitting by the water in my
car, it’s a dreary day, and I’m struggling.
Struggling to write, struggling to not eat out of boredom and depression,
struggling to lift myself out of feelings of loneliness and emptiness and struggling
with the thought of having to put my life on hold so soon after getting it
going again….that’s the hardest one to accept…putting certain parts of my life
on hold. And for how long? How long will
I have to stand still? That scares me; I
tend not to do well standing still.
Eckhart Tolle “Accept – then act.
Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always
work with it, not against it. This will
miraculously transform your whole life.” The present moment. Dr. Joe Dispenza says, “Only in the present
moment do you have access to other possibilities.” Doesn’t it always come back to how we think? If we focus on the things we can no longer
do, that puts us out of the present moment and in the state of living in the
past. If we feel sad about our future being
put one hold, that puts us in the state of feeling the loss of something that
has yet to happen, again taking us out of the present moment. We need to be present to “have access to
other possibilities.” So, what personality
traits will need to emerge for me to be present going through this time? I continually work on acceptance, gratitude,
and optimism but I need more right now. What
about curiosity? What possibility might present
itself if I get curious about what is still available to me right now? Following my curiosity has always held the possibility
of opening a new door, something that has always made me happy, but this I time
I need to get curious about something that comes from within and is not
dependent on the external: people, places or things. Maybe it’s time to write that
screenplay that won’t leave my head? Or actually
sign up for that screen-writing course I keep googling? Why not? I certainly have the time!
What personality trait would have
to emerge in you right now for you to be happy during this time? What possibility might be available to you if
you were to stay present? What are you curious
about? Take a moment to think about it,
you certainly have the time.
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