Walking through the door.

I remember well the thought I had running through my head weeks before I walked through the door of WW for the first time: "I really want to join, but I want to lose 10 pounds before I do."  Didn''t make sense but I know many of you thought the same!  And then after becoming a member there were the thoughts that always followed an off plan time, "I won't go this week, I just wait until I lose the weight I've gained while I had company" or "on vacation" or "after 3 birthday celebrations in one week" or "on this new medication", or fill in the blank.

As a coach and guide I've heard all of the reasons to miss a workshop and have used most of them myself.  The absolute truth of the matter is the most important workshop we can attend is the one we don't want to attend!  When the plan is going well and we're losing weight it's fun to attend, watch the number go down on the scale and hear the "Yay you!.  I've seen people actually hop on that piece of tin instead of stepping gingerly as they often do!  I've also witnessed many members who've showed up when they didn't want to and were so glad they did.  They put their best interests first and were rewarded; they connected with their people, soaked up some positive energy and left renewed!

The courage to show up for yourself is not always easily summoned and we often have so many negative thoughts that strive to over-ride it.  Having our own best interest at heart sometimes means stepping towards our fear and doing what we know to be best instead of what we know is least painful.  Ignoring what is best for ourselves may be least painful in one moment, but it almost always brings more pain in the next one.  Showing up shines a gentle and caring light on your fear and can help release your pain.  

So the next time you're contemplating not attending your workshop for whatever reason remind yourself there is no judgement waiting for you, only love and understanding. We are here for you always. So show up for yourself, no one deserves it more!

What are you meant to learn from this?

That is a question that I doubt means little to those who are not struggling and facing challenges.  Or perhaps when life is going along nicely we instinctively don't ask ourselves just in case the answer rocks our sense of self and security, yup, that's it, I've done that many times.  But if your sense of self is already rocked, learning to question and look for the lesson can be a lifeline.  

I'm reminded of a Pema Chodron quote "Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know."  I believe I've used that quote in a post before but I don't think I fully understood the magnitude of it.  NOTHING goes away...NOTHING goes away...not fear, not unworthiness, not shame, not addiction, not anger, not jealously, not guilt, not anxiety, not loneliness, not sadness...NOTHING!

I used think that if I lost weight all of my pain would go away, so I lost the weight (several times!) but the pain did not go away, I was just momentarily fitting into a smaller size. I now realize that in order for the pain to go away we must learn what it is our pain is meant to teach us.  And I think in order to find the lesson we must become aware and look past the cause of our pain and ask what it is we have learned.

And here's how I know "nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.": the first time I went to Las Vegas to visit family I was 16 and was worried I was too fat so I starved myself and just before I went I lived for 4 days on tea only.  Thinking back, every time I've gone to Las Vegas since I have starved myself before I went!  What???  In one week I'm going to Las Vegas again to celebrate my Aunt's 80th birthday and I admit I'm having ideas of starving myself again.  But, thankfully, this time feels different, this time I'm aware of my thoughts and aware of just how ridiculous the notion is that my wonderful family care about my weight!  Ridiculous!  They care about me and are thrilled I'm coming to surprise June at her party.  The lesson to be learned:  my family are not looking forward to seeing my body, they are looking forward to seeing the soul my body houses. Oh and by the way, and the 16 year old body I starved and tortured weighed 127 pounds.  Yup, there is a really big lesson for me here.

Some of the things I have/am learned/learning:
-if our thoughts create our reality, then my reality will continue to be me worrying about my weight because that is ALL I think about.
-my food addiction will not go away because I give all of my thoughts and energy to it - I give my precious energy to what I DON'T want instead to what I DO want.
-I'm very, very slowly learning that when I do, and think about, things that give me joy, I experience more joy.  When I do, and think about, things that give me pain, I experience more pain.

What are you meant to learn?  

What keeps showing up in your life that still needs to teach you a lesson?  

What are you thinking about when you experience joy?  

What are you thinking about when you experience pain?

What are you meant to learn so you can be free of the pain?

Two more lessons I've learned: 

-we are better and stronger together

-every time we shine the light of questioning onto our dark thoughts 

they lose more and more of their power.

In our WW workshops we have an opportunity to question and examine our thoughts and, wow, what a gift it is to do this together! I experience such huge joy every time we have heartfelt, honest, open and freeing conversations.  I sometimes get so excited I want to jump up and down and sometimes I feel a members' pain and I want to cry...both are a lesson.  I've learned so much from every member seeking to heal within our community and for that I am truly grateful.....and there's the joy again! Lesson learned.