What are you meant to learn from this?

That is a question that I doubt means little to those who are not struggling and facing challenges.  Or perhaps when life is going along nicely we instinctively don't ask ourselves just in case the answer rocks our sense of self and security, yup, that's it, I've done that many times.  But if your sense of self is already rocked, learning to question and look for the lesson can be a lifeline.  

I'm reminded of a Pema Chodron quote "Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know."  I believe I've used that quote in a post before but I don't think I fully understood the magnitude of it.  NOTHING goes away...NOTHING goes away...not fear, not unworthiness, not shame, not addiction, not anger, not jealously, not guilt, not anxiety, not loneliness, not sadness...NOTHING!

I used think that if I lost weight all of my pain would go away, so I lost the weight (several times!) but the pain did not go away, I was just momentarily fitting into a smaller size. I now realize that in order for the pain to go away we must learn what it is our pain is meant to teach us.  And I think in order to find the lesson we must become aware and look past the cause of our pain and ask what it is we have learned.

And here's how I know "nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know.": the first time I went to Las Vegas to visit family I was 16 and was worried I was too fat so I starved myself and just before I went I lived for 4 days on tea only.  Thinking back, every time I've gone to Las Vegas since I have starved myself before I went!  What???  In one week I'm going to Las Vegas again to celebrate my Aunt's 80th birthday and I admit I'm having ideas of starving myself again.  But, thankfully, this time feels different, this time I'm aware of my thoughts and aware of just how ridiculous the notion is that my wonderful family care about my weight!  Ridiculous!  They care about me and are thrilled I'm coming to surprise June at her party.  The lesson to be learned:  my family are not looking forward to seeing my body, they are looking forward to seeing the soul my body houses. Oh and by the way, and the 16 year old body I starved and tortured weighed 127 pounds.  Yup, there is a really big lesson for me here.

Some of the things I have/am learned/learning:
-if our thoughts create our reality, then my reality will continue to be me worrying about my weight because that is ALL I think about.
-my food addiction will not go away because I give all of my thoughts and energy to it - I give my precious energy to what I DON'T want instead to what I DO want.
-I'm very, very slowly learning that when I do, and think about, things that give me joy, I experience more joy.  When I do, and think about, things that give me pain, I experience more pain.

What are you meant to learn?  

What keeps showing up in your life that still needs to teach you a lesson?  

What are you thinking about when you experience joy?  

What are you thinking about when you experience pain?

What are you meant to learn so you can be free of the pain?

Two more lessons I've learned: 

-we are better and stronger together

-every time we shine the light of questioning onto our dark thoughts 

they lose more and more of their power.

In our WW workshops we have an opportunity to question and examine our thoughts and, wow, what a gift it is to do this together! I experience such huge joy every time we have heartfelt, honest, open and freeing conversations.  I sometimes get so excited I want to jump up and down and sometimes I feel a members' pain and I want to cry...both are a lesson.  I've learned so much from every member seeking to heal within our community and for that I am truly grateful.....and there's the joy again! Lesson learned.