We're not always who we believe ourselves to be.

During one of my many therapy sessions with Paula she asked me to tell her who I was.  That was easy: I'm 57, I'm a Mother, I'm a daughter, I'm a WW coach, I work at a Theatre, I'm a singer, I'm a traveler, I'm a writer....and Paula just smiled and said, "Those are the roles you play but who are you?".  Well, that turned out to be not so easy, in fact I have been working on that answer for about 8 months.  

Ironically the answer came to me in Costa Rica, where, I might have mentioned a time or 200, I went sleeveless.  As I attempted the impossible, scrubbing cages while keeping my jiggly arm bits still, I thought of Paula's question and was saddened to think one answer is "I am a person who has always believed her self-worth is attached to how she looks."  To be clear, I've known for a long time that I have that opinion of myself, I just never thought it was who I am.  And when I think of it honestly, that belief has been a part of more decisions made in my life than any other driving force.  Whoa! I may have to go back to that later as that idea is not meant to be the focus of this post...but damn that is so sad!

This is where I want to go with this post: I want to rewrite my answers to the question, "Who are you?". 

I am not my jiggly arm bits, I am empathy and compassion feeling the pain of others as if it were my own.

I am not my wide nose, I am the intense desire to see more of the world and get outside my reality.

I am not the hair colour I once had naturally and now manufacture, I am the impatience and  frustration when people won't help themselves. 

I am not the cellulite on my body, I am the tender heart who cries as easily in joy as in sadness.

I am not the face that must be "made-up" before leaving the house, I am the belief that kind words and a sincere smile or hug can change someone's day. 

I am not the straight teeth I inherited from my Dad, I am the insecurity that allows people to treat me badly. 

I am not my chubby knees, I am the pain that was healed and set free through forgiveness.

I am not the woman who still uses makeup and clothes as an illusion, I am the procrastination who is writing this blog instead of doing boring work that pays.

I am not the fake nails I have been wearing since I was 26 in order to make my short fat hands look longer, I am the passion that drives me to help others see their unique beauty and potential.

I am not my sagging skin and stretch marks, I am the extreme joy I feel when a member of my tribe sees what is possible for them.

I am not the well turned out woman with nice hair, I am the need to be liked and validated.

I am not the wrinkles and turkey neck that have materialized, I am the supreme gratitude when surrounded by unconditional love from my tribe.

I am not my self-maligned body, I am the tenacious observer of ego manufactured thoughts on my journey to self-love and acceptance. 

So, now it's your turn. 

Who are you really? 

Who are you when you take the roles you inhabit

 out of the equation?  

Who are you when you take all forms of bodily descriptions

 out of the equation?