This morning I was so lucky to have a moment to answer a fellow WW member-friend's message inquiring about my Mom and received back message filled with words of kindness right when I needed them. I don't need to share why I'm feeling empty right now (if you're reading this you most likely have read much if not all of my sharing (over-sharing??) in my blog. I've felt the need to write an entry but just couldn't land on a topic until now. In addition to the many lovely and kind words you have shared with me about my blog, one word keeps cropping up: relatable.
This is what I wrote back to M.:
"Thank you so much for you words, I really need them right now. I know it's grief, guilt and fatigue that are hitting me now but I'm really struggling with food because I have huge chunks of time when I just don't give a crap and then I feel like crap both mentally and physically. I'm carry a 10 pound food baby right now and yesterday I thought my skin was going to burst! And I feel so guilty about wanting to come home last night when my Dad begged, actually begged, me to stay another night but I just didn't have it in me. I reasoned that if I stayed until 6 and he goes to bed at 8 and would not be up until long after I had left in the morning that I could do what I needed to do for me but still feel guilty as hell. He's lost the love of his life and yet she still walks this earth and he's in so much pain. So thanks for your words, best timing ever, and love the comment "Continue to be the Fruitloop in life’s bowl of Cheerios!"
Well, Tribe, can you relate?? I know you can because everyone has something in their life that causes them to feel grief, guilt and/or fatigue. And even though I know for sure that when you least want to go to a workshop you most definitely need to go, if it wasn't that I'm coaching the workshop tonight this WW member would skip it and sit on my couch and eat, possibly a whole lotta chips.
But M's words have lifted me so I'm going to send them out to all of you and hope they lift you too!
"Give yourself permission to feel what you feel without the guilt. You got to do what you got to do to get through this nightmare. Most important is to get your mental health in order and be sweet and kind to your lil self. Do some nice things for yourself that you enjoy. Find good counselling, meds, meditation, walks, friendships, salon, spa, ....... Don’t go near anyone that’s negative or a pain in the ass right now if you can help it. Yeah. Your dad needs you but you’re no good to him or anyone if you’re exhausted, guilty and depressed. Make good WW food choices when you can and track...... but other than that, let it go and you gotta fix yourself first. You gotta a friend in me, so feel free to bend my ear."
So, Tribe,
if you're having a day, a week or a year we can all relate
and if you join us maybe we can lift you too!
2 comments:
Awww Joanne - food is never the answer but it is so easy ! What does not kill us makes us stronger ----sounds harsh but have lived the pain and grief of loss of my parents and so much other s____ !stuff ...be brave have courage and have gratitude for all the small wins xo Carina
I know you have lived it all Carina and have come out the other side. And you're right food is not the answer and a win is that I actually ate way less than I wanted to...haha...no cookies! I love our WW group and the support we all give each other. Thanks Friend!
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