"We get the life we tolerate." Tony Robbins

He said this during his last visit on Oprah's "Super Soul Sunday" and I've not been able to get it out of my head since.  At first I found it to be quite harsh as if he was saying is dismissively but then realized I was just projecting my negative self image into it....I am so freakin' predicable!  Once I was able to take emotion out of it I started to grasp the full meaning of how it related to me, and by me I mean my inability to get back to goal weight, of course.

I have always been able to tolerate what it took to lose weight, at least for short periods of time!  For the past 20 years (20 years???) I have been able to tolerate not eating starchy foods because at first it helped me lose weight but then I noticed I felt so much better (translation: was not constipated).I thought I was strong and dedicated. As it turns out, yes, I was strong and dedicated but I was also 35.

Two years ago I gained 11 pounds in 2 weeks (Puerto Rico: mucho chips and beer, no walking, no tracking) but the moment I came home I went right back to tracking and walking and lost about 4 pounds and then hit a wall... could not lose more.  But I keep on trying (for 2 years now!!) because it worked 4 years ago. I keep on trying the same thing expecting the "original" results and nothing. I finally had to accept what I did to lose weight 4 years ago now is maintenance for me.  

So, in order to lose I have to change my plan in two ways: 1. not eat my weeklies  2. do more than just walk 4 times a week. So far I have done neither of those things.  Why?  Well, after much soul searching I have come to the conclusion that I just don't want to.  I like to use my weeklies every weekend and I don't want to add a zumba class 3 times a week.....I just don't want to.

Now my challenge is to tolerate my decision so I can be at peace with it. That is turning out to be a bit of a bitch because I am not a quitter and my over-thinkin' little brain is having a really difficult time tolerating the "I just don't want to" attitude.  Because I must always have a plan, it is my plan for the time being to work on allowing myself to tolerate maintenance which means tracking my daily and weekly points and going for 4 or 5 walks a week. All I will be changing is my attitude...haha..we'll see how that goes!   If I find I can no longer tolerate being over goal, then out comes the zumba video! 

What are you tolerating?  Are you okay with it? What are you unable to change because you've been tolerating it?  And if you're unable, or unwilling, to do what it takes to change it, are you willing to try and accept it?

This I know.

I know we need to pick one...tolerate or change. 

There is no peace living in the middle.