Where do you live?

Do you live in the past, present or the future?  You may think you live in the present but every time you wish something was different than it is you're living either in the past or the future.  

I tended to live in the future, always planning for the next thing that was going to make me happy: a trip, a relationship, a new job or a new haircut.  I was always searching for the next thing.  

I think it started when my Aunt (yes, the 80 year Las Vegas cocktail waitress) started bringing me dolls from all of the countries she visited on her many travels. Playing with those colourfully dressed dolls from Spain, Italy, France and Thailand, to name just a few, took me far away from my present and into a surely happy future.  Even my Barbies were always packing their little suitcases and leaving for bigger and better lives.  Malibu sounded lovely.

For no sinister reasons, I was not a happy child in my home town.  I always thought life would get better when I moved away but since I was only about 10 at the time I did the only thing I knew to get me out, I retreated to my thoughts and Harlequin romance books.  I also started planning my move to Toronto and even created a Toronto persona, Diane Rahm.  I used to walk out the back door of our house and walk around to the front door of our general store, walk in and pretend I was a tourist, "Hello, I'm Diane Rahm from Toronto."...fortunately my Mom made my family play along.

Finally I was 18, moving to Toronto and life was going to change!  All my years of merely existing and waiting to be happy had come to an end.  I was going to let Diane Rahm loose! I would lose weight, find a boyfriend, get new haircuts and be happy, happy, happy!  But, alas, since life is not a romance novel or a movie on Lifetime I was left with reality, and Betty Crocker icing. 

Fast forward 40 therapy-filled-and-self-reflection years later and where do I live now?  Well, I still plan the next trip, think about changing my job and ponder new relationships but each and every day I now take a moment to breathe and gives thanks for the life that is now my present.  I've come through a lot to get here and I don't want to miss the life that is my one and only anymore.  I have joy, peace and a haircut that suits me.

So where do you live?  When you say you used to lose weight so much faster, that's living in the past.  When you wait to celebrate how far you've come on your Plan, that's living in the future.  When you accept what is your now and find the joy in it, that's living in the present.