Optimism is a magnet…..

Optimism is a magnet…..but, alas, so is pessimism.  We get back what we put out there.

But being optimistic is more than stating everything will be okay, that’s just the beginning, genuine optimism is feeling and believing everything will be okay.  And that’s where we often get stuck.  How do we FEEL optimistic when what we are FEELING is sad, depressed, afraid and uncertain? The list of negative feelings swirling around in our bodies these days is endless so we have to intentionally choosing to FEEL optimistic.  Great, how do we do that?

Wayne Dyer said “What is hope but a feeling of optimism, a thought that says things will improve, it won’t always be bleak, there’s a way to rise above the present circumstances. Hope is an internal awareness that you do not have to suffer forever, and that somehow, somewhere there is a remedy for despair that you will come upon if you can only maintain this expectancy in your heart.” 

Right now many of us are grappling with the realization that things might never be the same.  Most of us have experienced events that may have altered our lives: loss of a loved one, a job or a marriage.  And while these losses are may forever change our lives, these losses fall within our scope of what is normal, so eventually we can be hopeful again.  The pandemic most certainly does not fall within our scope of what is normal so we have no reference point of hope, of optimism.  So that leaves us with connecting to one we know.

The dissolution of my marriage was the dissolution of my world and the idea of what I thought my future was going to look like.  During the past few years, I’ve felt sad, depressed, afraid and uncertain but I’ve also felt hope and possibility. I had hope that one day I would be okay, and life would be okay because I had a reference point of hope: people getting divorced fell within my scope of what is normal.  So I made choices and set my intention: I decided to look at my life differently and to feel differently.  I practiced gratitude like it was the only way to get air into my lungs.  I clung to possibility as if it was my only ticket out of misery.  I believed optimism was a magnet and witnessed my life get better and better.

So when I think about coping now, I think why not apply the same principals?  Wayne Dyer said, “Your intention creates your reality.”  Definition: Intention is an idea that you plan to carry out. Your goal (your idea) is your intention.  I think it’s safe to generalize and say that at this time all of us want to feel optimistic and hopeful and I’m the same.  I’ve set my intentions: I choose to look at this time in my life differently.  I choose to believe that even though things are, and may continue to be, different I will not only be okay but I will continue to thrive, grow and feel joy.  I choose to look at this time and see not it as the loss of how we are but the possibility of how we could be.  And most importantly, I choose to embrace life as it is right now with gratitude because no matter what has happened in my life, my reference points for gratitude remain the same.  And for me, gratitude ALWAYS leads me to optimism and that’s when the magnet kicks in.

Optimism or pessimism?  You still get to choose, that has not been taken away from you. Ask yourself how you want to feel?  Hopeful? Optimistic? Safe?  What were your reference points to feel that way in the past? 

Set your intentions, your reality will follow.