I think most of us can agree that how we see yourselves today stems from the identity we developed as a child. Early on I developed an "I'm not good enough" identity and suffered from a severe inferiority complex that threw a sad weighted net over my entire life which lead me to make choices a healthy, confident person would never have made. I'm sure many of you understand what that's like....it sucked!
Looking back I see what saved me was my unwavering, if somewhat misguided, belief I could control and change my life if I worked hard enough. I never gave up trying to be "better". Thankfully, what I finally did give up was what I thought a "better" Joanne would be.
And once I did that I was freed from my old thoughts to realize I was not the identity I had created as a child. I was able to let the pain of the child go and let me tell you, man what a relief that was! Sure I was 45 at the time but better late than never, right?
So if you are hanging on to an old, painful, identity, let it go, even if it was a super fantastic identity...let it go! Let it go because neither one is who you are now. Who you are now can't possibly be who you were when you were young because our experiences change us, and thankfully, with those changes comes wisdom! But remember, wisdom like any other gift, is only truly valuable if you use it! Use your wisdom and experience to accurately see yourself as you are now. You may be pleasantly surprised or mildly shocked! It doesn't matter; what does matter is that you use your hard won wisdom and decide how you want to be!
Embrace the chance to update your identity,
don't let the past define your future!
And for goodness sake....
2 comments:
Wow, I found the meeting Wed. really deep with regards to reaching into your inner self and look at your identity. For me that takes a lot of deep thinking as I feel I just sort of bounce along, try to remain positive and be happy. Ironically my husband said to me I have never thought you were negative. Maybe I should of used a different word. I look at you Joanne and I see a confident beautiful person inside and out. Keep on doing what you are doing as you are doing a fabulous job and I love your meetings. Sorry I don't participate a lot but I sure take everything in. Darlene L
It's interesting that you say you feel that you "just bounce along, try to remain positive and be happy". To me that's you nailing it Darlene! I think that's the very best we can do. If you think of another word to describe your identity other than negative, let me know, I'd be really interested in hearing it! The whole idea of the exercise is to look inward and see what pops up.
I went a little deep with my story because I hope if I really put myself out there that people will feel free to do the same...some may open up in the meetings, others just to themselves or spouses. All that matters is the looking at how we identify our selves.
And, lastly, please never apologize for how you participate in the meetings because you engage plenty! The meetings are for you and are there for you to absorb in whatever fashion suits your fancy:) Thanks for your kindness!
Joanne
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