1.
Sticking exclusively
with what you already know. – When you stop
learning you stop living a meaningful life. Life’s richness does not come
from always residing within familiar and comfortable territory. It’s when
you venture out, away from the familiar, that you grow stronger and more
capable. You must hold tightly to your core values while at the same time
opening your heart and mind to new ideas, feelings and experiences.
2.
Resisting life’s
inevitable and necessary changes. –
There will always be more tough changes to make. Always! And yes,
this growth can be painful. Change can be painful. But in the end,
nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you do not belong.
You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago or a week
ago. You’re always growing.
3.
Letting others define
what’s possible for you and your life. –
Some people will kill you over time if you let them; and how they’ll kill you
is with tiny, seemingly harmless phrases like, “Be realistic.” When this
happens, close your ears and listen to your inner voice instead. Remember
that real success in life isn’t what others see, but how you feel inside
4.
Focusing on
everyone’s story except your own. –
Don’t be so satisfied with the success stories of others and how things have
gone for them that you forget to write your own. And don’t compare your
Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 15. Unfold your own tale and bring it
to life. You have everything you need to become what you are capable of
becoming. Incredible change happens when you decide to take
control. Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart
and dedicate time to them every day.
5.
Focusing on every
little problem. – The greater part of our
happiness or misery depends on our attitudes, not our circumstances. If
you’re stressed out by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing
itself, but to your interpretation of it; and this is something you have the
power to change at any moment. In other words, frustration and stress
come from the way you react, not the way things are. Adjust your
attitude, and the frustration and stress is gone. (Read The How of Happiness
.)
.)
6.
Wanting to be more
right than everyone else. – When it’s
suddenly more important to win arguments than to love people, we need to start
all over again with our priorities. Remember, truly confident people
don’t mind being proven wrong. They know that finding out what is right
is a lot more important than being right. And when they’re wrong, they’re
secure enough to back down graciously and appreciate the lesson learned.
7.
Holding on to someone
who continuously and deliberately hurts you. –
Sometimes you have to walk away from people, not because you don’t care, but
because they don’t. Forgiveness is important, but when someone hurts you
time and time again, purposely, you have to accept the fact that they don’t
care about you. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s necessary
medicine. Do NOT strive to impress them anymore. Waste not another
second of your time trying to prove something to them. Nothing needs to
be proven.
8.
Being more loving to
others than you are to yourself. –
Life gets a lot easier when you are your own best friend. So don’t forget
about YOU out there, and don’t be too hard on yourself either. There are
plenty of others that will do both of these things for you. There’s
absolutely nothing selfish about self-care. If you don’t take good care
of yourself then you can’t take good care of anyone else.
9.
Being too
self-absorbed. – Generosity is what keeps the
things you own from owning you. In other words, generosity isn’t just to
help others, it’s also to liberate you. Which is why you cannot live
abundantly until you have done something nice for someone who can never repay
you. Know this and live graciously. There is no exercise better for
your heart and mind than reaching down and lifting people up.
10.
Expecting everyone
else to be as kind and caring as you are. –
Bottom line: You will end up very disappointed if you expect people will always
do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as
you. (Read Loving What Is.)
.)
11.
Expecting to never
lose anything. – It’s incredibly tough to
comprehend at times, but there’s a reason for everything. The awful pain
of loss teaches humility to our prideful kind, has the power to warm-up a cold
heart, and make an even better person out of a good one. So remember that
no book is just one chapter. No chapter tells the whole story. No
hardship defines who you are. Keep turning the pages that need to be
turned.
12.
Letting yesterday’s
displeasures defeat you. – Don’t live
with disappointment, live beyond it. You cannot stop what has already
happened, but you can let it make you stronger and more determined. The
journey to emotional maturity requires that you review the events in your life
to find the wisdom and purpose they contain. And a time will inevitably
come in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your
hesitation and frustration you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice
inside your head cries out, “ENOUGH!” This is the turning point that
ultimately leads to healing and growth. So as we begin a new year, close
the door on your past, open the door to your future, take a deep breath, take a
step forward, and start a new chapter in your life.
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