Tuesday 20 January 2015

"12 Little Habits That Stole Your Happiness Last Year" by Marc Chernoff

I love that ultimately we are all the same.  If there is one of you who has not, or is not, experiencing some or all of the habits below.....you need to write a book, seriously, Oprah will want to talk to you!

1.       Sticking exclusively with what you already know. – When you stop learning you stop living a meaningful life.  Life’s richness does not come from always residing within familiar and comfortable territory.  It’s when you venture out, away from the familiar, that you grow stronger and more capable.  You must hold tightly to your core values while at the same time opening your heart and mind to new ideas, feelings and experiences. 
2.      Resisting life’s inevitable and necessary changes. – There will always be more tough changes to make.  Always!  And yes, this growth can be painful.  Change can be painful.  But in the end, nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you do not belong.  You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago or a week ago.  You’re always growing. 
3.      Letting others define what’s possible for you and your life. – Some people will kill you over time if you let them; and how they’ll kill you is with tiny, seemingly harmless phrases like, “Be realistic.”  When this happens, close your ears and listen to your inner voice instead.  Remember that real success in life isn’t what others see, but how you feel inside
4.      Focusing on everyone’s story except your own. – Don’t be so satisfied with the success stories of others and how things have gone for them that you forget to write your own.  And don’t compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 15.  Unfold your own tale and bring it to life.  You have everything you need to become what you are capable of becoming.  Incredible change happens when you decide to take control.  Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart and dedicate time to them every day.
5.       Focusing on every little problem. – The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our attitudes, not our circumstances.  If you’re stressed out by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your interpretation of it; and this is something you have the power to change at any moment.  In other words, frustration and stress come from the way you react, not the way things are.  Adjust your attitude, and the frustration and stress is gone.  (Read The How of Happinesshttp://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=marandang-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0143114956.)
6.      Wanting to be more right than everyone else. – When it’s suddenly more important to win arguments than to love people, we need to start all over again with our priorities.  Remember, truly confident people don’t mind being proven wrong.  They know that finding out what is right is a lot more important than being right.  And when they’re wrong, they’re secure enough to back down graciously and appreciate the lesson learned. 
7.       Holding on to someone who continuously and deliberately hurts you. – Sometimes you have to walk away from people, not because you don’t care, but because they don’t.  Forgiveness is important, but when someone hurts you time and time again, purposely, you have to accept the fact that they don’t care about you.  It’s a tough pill to swallow, but it’s necessary medicine.  Do NOT strive to impress them anymore.  Waste not another second of your time trying to prove something to them.  Nothing needs to be proven. 
8.      Being more loving to others than you are to yourself. – Life gets a lot easier when you are your own best friend.  So don’t forget about YOU out there, and don’t be too hard on yourself either.  There are plenty of others that will do both of these things for you.  There’s absolutely nothing selfish about self-care.  If you don’t take good care of yourself then you can’t take good care of anyone else. 
9.      Being too self-absorbed. – Generosity is what keeps the things you own from owning you.  In other words, generosity isn’t just to help others, it’s also to liberate you.  Which is why you cannot live abundantly until you have done something nice for someone who can never repay you.  Know this and live graciously.  There is no exercise better for your heart and mind than reaching down and lifting people up.
10.   Expecting everyone else to be as kind and caring as you are. – Bottom line: You will end up very disappointed if you expect people will always do for you as you do for them.  Not everyone has the same heart as you.  (Read Loving What Ishttp://ir-na.amazon-adsystem.com/e/ir?t=marandang-20&l=as2&o=1&a=1400045371.)
11.    Expecting to never lose anything. – It’s incredibly tough to comprehend at times, but there’s a reason for everything.  The awful pain of loss teaches humility to our prideful kind, has the power to warm-up a cold heart, and make an even better person out of a good one.  So remember that no book is just one chapter.  No chapter tells the whole story.  No hardship defines who you are.  Keep turning the pages that need to be turned.
12.   Letting yesterday’s displeasures defeat you. – Don’t live with disappointment, live beyond it.  You cannot stop what has already happened, but you can let it make you stronger and more determined.  The journey to emotional maturity requires that you review the events in your life to find the wisdom and purpose they contain.  And a time will inevitably come in your life when you finally get it.  When in the midst of all your hesitation and frustration you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out, “ENOUGH!”  This is the turning point that ultimately leads to healing and growth.  So as we begin a new year, close the door on your past, open the door to your future, take a deep breath, take a step forward, and start a new chapter in your life.

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