I'm so sick of it! Warning: This blog contains coarse language....there is an F-bomb!

Ok, I know I just came back from 16 days in Maui, but I'm going to bitch and complain cause this Buttercup has no suck-it-up left!  

Good little WW that I am,  I started right back with my tracking and was on Plan the day after we got home....AND already I'm so sick of it!!!  I'm sick of thinking about food, of measuring food, of tracking food, of saying no to food, of  "low fat" foods, of not having chips, of making yet another pot of soup, of not seeing results like I used to, of having these thoughts running around in my head....sick, sick, sick, and a let's not forget, tired, of it all.  I have been on this damn diet treadmill since I was in grade 6!  Grade fucking 6, that's 44 years!  

And I want to quit.  I want to eat what I want without thought or planning. But (damn my hard won wisdom) I know that is not an option.  And quite frankly the way I feel today, that really pisses me off!

And do you know what else pisses me off?  Yesterday, while trying to get some badly needed endorphins by playing snow soccer with James I pulled my quadricep muscle.  See that bad kick? Totally over extended my leg and ouch!  Oh, and the ball is supposed to go down the hill, not back into the garage.  

So where was I, oh ya, I want to quit.  I want to quit so badly.  I want to quit and dive into the largest bag of chips that Costo sells and live there forever.  But I freakin' can't!  I can't because there is only one thing in this world of weight loss that hurts almost as much as doing nothing, and that's starting over.  I have started over so many times and have been so angry with myself for quitting and feeling like such a loser.  Each time I vowed this would be the last time, that when I hit that inevitable snag, plateau, winter and/or spring, summer or fall blues that I would fight to stay on track and wait it out.

These days when I'm finding it hard to bring up feelings of gratitude there is one thing I can cling to and that is the thought of my WW peeps.  It's bringing tears to my eyes right now when I think of the weight loss struggles so many of you have and yet never give up, or have been close to giving up and leave a meeting with the resolve to keep going.  I feel such a part of the collective and it's such a safe, accepting place to be.  You all are a lifeline for me...(more tears) and I am so thankful and, sniff, sniff there it is...grateful... that this time I'm not fighting the battle alone. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And, on a lighter note:
 This is what I'll be doing tomorrow morning, drinking coffee

and letting Scott kick the damn ball!