What an emotional roller coaster these past few weeks have been....I am exhausted! In a nut shell, I did really well and only slipped slightly into an old habit. But to be fair, I did not anticipate it so it blindsided me. Will explain later.
I was so good at the wedding, even I surprised myself! Was it because of the weigh-in fear? Of course it was but I'm still taking it a win! I had just 2 adult beverages, and was going to allow my 3. The dinner was the dreaded "B" word....buffet but I had only a huge amount of green salad and 1.5 pieces of chicken for dinner. I had no dessert: that decision was actually quite easy because I made up my mind before even going. I knew I would just keep going back for more....so all or nothing? Nothing. Which also meant no wedding cake or cupcake....my husband had both. There was one food element I was not counting on.....a chocolate and candy buffet!!!! What???? Who does that????
I did not even go over to look at it. And finally even though I had not accumulated many FitBit steps during the day we did not leave until I danced almost 6000 steps!
So how did I feel after the wedding? Really proud of myself. How did I feel the next morning before weigh-in? Sick to my stomach. I went for my walk (got knocked ass over tea kettle by the neighbor who tried to run through me to play with James) and just kept telling myself "Relax, you will be fine." (thanks Lynda!)
So I had a pee and weighed-in and yup, I'm still 10 pounds over goal. The head office weigh-er smiled and said "Perfect, thanks Joanne" and had no judgement. Why was I surprised? She is a member just like me and just like you. Jackie came up to me and asked me how I felt about it...we're all in this together!
I will admit I had a bit of difficulty feeling worthy to be there for the rest of the meeting. And this is when the old habit crept in, "I made it through all this and I don't have to weigh in for another month... I'm going to get a big bag of chips (go to No-Frills - get a PC flavour I've never tried) and a large Lindt chocolate bar (and not the 70% cocoa one either). I had totally forgotten about an habit of mine: drowning my sorrows after a stressful time!
After the meeting I chatted with Jane who always gives such leveled headed advice! Sitting in my car I thought about My Success Story. I am writing it and just as part of it is facing my fears and dealing with the emotions, so is acknowledging a destructive habit and choosing to not give in. I did not get the chips and chocolate bar. I did have a wee nip of Moonshine when I got home, a girl can only take so much in one day! And I did add a tad too much (a large tad) cheese and sour cream to my veggies. And I had a protein bar with a nice thick layer natural peanut butter for dessert. But...I did not have chips! And I've thrown out the rest of the sour cream.
So how do I feel now? Well, the facts:
1. I didn't die
2. I handled two very stressful situations as well as I was able
3. I'm very motivated to continue writing My Success Story
4. It's a process, not always easy but always worth it
5. I'm very grateful for you all
Thank you!
3 comments:
Awesome Joanne!!! Very proud of you....especially not visiting the dessert/candy buffet! Just one trip there would have been a disaster...well I know it would have been for me!! No one judges but life goes on and we struggle and a certain few of us are all in the same boat. Keep rowing and we will definitely succeed....don't think your hubby ever gains weight! Slim and Trim! If Only ....LOL
Thank you Lynda, I'm kinda proud of myself! I really believe making the decision before getting to a stressful situation makes the difference. Had I not made the no-dessert decision I would have just moved my place card to the candy table for the night! My hubby does gain but he can lose 10 pounds in ten days by just cutting out the junk food at the computer after work....but I still love him:)
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