Have you ever found out that a lovely acquaintance has died? That happened to me on Saturday. I read a friends post about Susan and a bursary being set up in her name. I immediately went online to Belleville obituaries and was shocked to read that, yes, Susan had indeed died but, almost a year ago! I was stunned, absolutely stunned. How did I not hear?
As I mentioned we were only acquaintances, we had done several shows together and ran into each other every now and again. But I really liked her, she was kind, generous and so genuine with no hidden agenda. Reading about her death at age 58 took the wind out of my sails. It was a strange feeling because the feelings I had were as if she had just passed but in fact she has been gone from this earth for almost a year. A year!
And Susan was just 58. A seemingly healthy 58 year old who got cancer and died. And I'm embarrassed to say my first reaction was "Well, shit, what's the point of me giving up sugar?" So tied am I to food that my first thought of living life to the fullest was to go back to eating dessert! I thought why am I wasting precious time not enjoying the high fat, high sugar food I love?
After a moment or two I came back to my senses and took notice of the food thoughts. I looked at them without judgement, just looked at them for what they are: old thoughts from an old story. It's not who I am anymore. Who I am now is someone making a daily effort to be healthy, live well and enjoy life. Because the fact of the matter is none of us ever know what lies ahead. All we can do is take the time we're given and make the very best of it, and for me, and maybe for you too, making peace with my old thoughts about self worthiness and food and replacing them with ones of love, joy and health is time well spent. Everything in life and death can be a lesson.
No comments:
Post a Comment