A mass shooting in Orlando, an alligator drags toddler into the water at Disney resort, a 16 year old Stirling boy still suffers from traumatic brain injury from horrific car accident, my friend Donna is still dead, my friend Sylvia is thrilled her chemo may buy her another year of life and I continue to be obsessed with losing 6 pounds. WTF?
Why does it take something sad happening in the world before I give myself a slap upside the head and vow to stop hating my wobbly bits and concentrate on loving what's important? Why can't I live my life knowing that my wobbly bits are just bits and not me? Why can I not be grateful for my wobbly bits all of the time instead of just for fleeting moments when the true reality of life jars me into doing so?
Why? Because such is the strength of habit. It has been my habit to be negative about myself for as long as I can remember. I will only say this about how this habit developed: praise the children in your life, acknowledge their accomplishments, let them know how capable they really are and don't make them spend their lives trying to earn your approval.
We develop habits out of need, some serve us well, others hold us back but either way they help make us who we are and we need to peel away those that no longer serves us. When it comes to peeling away the habit of negative thought it's tricky, after all, that's where we live. Trying to banish negative thoughts doesn't seem to work because that action comes from a place of resistance and what we resists persists. In other words getting pissed off about our negative thoughts just gives them more power!
I love this approach. By concentrating on releasing the negative thought by acknowledging that we know longer need it sets up a new healthy self-loving habit. So the next time you have a negative thought about your body repeat the following, "I release the need for this in my life".
And then say thank you to your wobbly bits for
unlike bad habits, they have served you well.
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