No more crumbs!

As part of my endeavor to evolve into my best self, I have decided to not accept any more crumbs.

There is a person who was in my life and for the past 2 years has thrown me crumbs of attention and validation.  And like the absolutely insecure person I am/was?? I lapped them up and was so grateful.  My gut was telling me otherwise but I didn't listen.  And never once did I think "What?? Are you freakin' kidding me??"  I guess I felt that was all I deserved so was grateful to get any little bit.

Just before Christmas there were crumbs coming my way and I was happy and then they stopped coming.  My stomach was tied in knots and my negative thoughts took over.  On Dec. 21st I remember sitting waiting for my turn for an oil change and I thought I was going to be sick.  It was a very familiar sick feeling that this person had caused before and I couldn't believe I had fallen for it again.

That night I went to bed and was once again plagued with tortuous dreams and when I woke up I had one thought, "No more crumbs!"  I got up, turned on the coffee, found a large post-it and put that on my fridge to remind me that I am worth more than the measly crumbs being tossed my way from this person or anyone else!  Of course I realized my part in my suffering: I allowed and accepted the crumbs and told myself that was enough.  I guess I needed to learn that lesson in order to evolve.  Evolving comes through a series of lessons and some of them are painful.  

What about you?  Who tosses you crumbs of attention, affection, validation, praise, love, or acknowledgement that you lap up and are grateful for not even realizing you deserve so much more?  Crumbs that if they don't come your way cause you to suffer and feel crushed?  Crumbs that are sometimes given and taken away just as fast?  If this is you too, time to say NO MORE CRUMBS! 

Time to start loving, praising and acknowledging yourself and then if a crumb is tossed your way it has no power over you because you are already full.  You can choose to accept it or brush it off onto the floor.

"Settling for crumbs doesn't keep you fed, 

it keeps you starving."

Unknown