Is your weight loss goal overshadowing the rest of your life?

Have you ever felt that all you think about is weight loss?  That's a silly question, of course you have!

I've been feeling that way for some time now.  I guess when you've had a 45 year goal it tends to take over your thoughts.  I've began to wonder if my intense focus on this one goal has overshadowed other potential life goals.  It stands to reason that one only has so much brain power and energy at any given time so if one goal is all consuming other goals are set aside, or even worse, not even given consideration.

And here's another thought: by continually focusing all of our thoughts on this goal of weight loss are we actually keeping weight loss success out of our reach?  We are what we think.  If we always think of ourselves as someone who needs to lose weight then we will always be someone who needs to lose weight. And so the vicious cycle continues and other things, other wonderful things, in our lives get left behind.  Life is too short to have all of our possibly amazing experiences overshadowed by one goal.

So what do we do to put our goal of weight loss into perspective so it's doesn't overshadow the rest of our lives?

I believe the key here is to move our thoughts on weight lose from planning the ways to living the ways.  Plans are what we need to get started, but once the plans are made we need to move out of the planning stage and settle into living stage. If you live your plan it will become part of who you are and you won't have to think about it so much therefore freeing up your time to seek new goals. Have you noticed that planning how to lose weight takes up a lot of time? And for some of us who've been doing it for years, and know what we need to do, what a waste of precious time.

Change your daily plan to lose weight to living that plan daily.

One easy way to start living your plan is to address all your food situations with one question:

What would a Weight Watcher do?  And then do that.

"Well, I woke up Sunday mornin' with no way to hold my head that didn't hurt"...Johnny Cash

In reality it was this morning, Monday morning, but that's the song that's running through my head. Yesterday was my birthday and I don't care at all about birthdays, except for the food I give myself permission to have, so I decided instead of going out to dinner I wanted to go to the movies and have a full fledged carb-out: my own bag of popcorn with butter, chip-nuts, and party-mix all washed down with a HUGE, and let's not forget aspartame filled, Diet Coke.  And I thoroughly enjoyed it all. But, of course, when we got home, because I had crashed from my carbo-high so I needed more....so I made, and ate, a box of fat free, sugar free, carb loaded pistachio jello pudding...all 2 cups of it.  It made my heart race, seriously, I was having palpitations. Then I went to bed.

I tossed and turned all night with a churning stomach and hot flashes and am totally useless today. My head aches, my body aches, I can't focus on any one task and all I want to do is go back to bed!

So was it worth it?  I have to say for the most part yes although I think foregoing the pudding would have been a wise move.  

Am I happy with how I planned it?  Again, yes. I thought it out for days, yup, days! I went to the Bulk Barn and bought about a hand full of chip nuts and 2 hand fulls of party-mix...AND for the first time ever, bought a small popcorn.  The last time I did this kind of carb-out was perhaps 5 years ago and compared to my "old days" it was nothin'!

I've become really aware of how putting that crap into my body has made me feel like crap. I usually eat veggies, fruit, eggs, meat and dairy so I know for certain all my aches and pains are a direct result of eating all that crap.  My body usually hums along nicely, today it's shaking, aching and wondering what I have against it!

We are what we eat.  Do you feel tired, aching, and generally crappy a lot of the time?  Maybe you think that's just the way it is.  It's not.  Give your body a chance to feel good by eating healthy food for a while and I guarantee the next time you have a carb-out-pig-out you'll be singing the same tune I was this morning. 

The power of a meeting.

Last week we talked about internal and external hunger and after our Friday meeting I experienced a powerful external trigger.  My friend had just finished her first chemo for her stage 4 colon cancer and I was picking her up at the hospital to take her home to Napanee, so as you can imagine the "trigger" stage was set.  Seeing someone you love start on that kind of journey, which let's face it, has no good outcome affects each of us differently.  For me I get the "Well in the end what does it all matter so I might as well eat" feeling and was immediately thinking of fast food take out.  After all, what does it really matter?

Fortunately, as I always do, I had snacks with me: 2 apples, my favourite coconut 4 SP protein bar and a thermos of coffee. A good thing too as I still had to go on to Kingston to make a return for my friend. Then I got lost, and then the return did not go well and then it was 6 pm and I was frustrated, sad, mad, tired and thoroughly pissed off....at Kingston and wonky Princess Street, at the store for it's stupid return policy, at F@#&ING cancer AND at all the people going through the Wendy's drive thru because I so badly wanted to join them.  But I didn't. I didn't because I had just come from a meeting. I truly believe the meeting made the difference. It helped me to think about my goal and to say "It really does matter."

So I ate my protein bar and two apples, drank my coffee and went home.

What's it going to take before we stop eating junk food?

What is it going to take to get North Americans to eat better?  What shocking piece of new evidence needs to come out to make us finally get the crap we let pass for food off of our plates? What if scientists told us eating foods high in saturated fat and sugar can cause heart disease, high blood pressure that can lead to strokes, type 2 Diabetes and cancer?  Oh wait....they do.  What if experts told us that our daily walk or even daily run is not enough to offset the negative impact of our crappy diets?  Oh wait...they do.. Are we just so used to reading and hearing about it that we have become desensitized to the truth? 

Anyone who is reading this blog knows the above is true but what does it make you think about your own food choices?  It's not that we don't know, we know, we all KNOW and we still don't do anything about it. Why??  What do we need to see and read that will make us change the food on our plates?  

This???

Shocking and scary isn't it?  Or is it?  Maybe we just say to ourselves, "Well, I have a friend who eats healthy foods, walks and plays golf 3 times a week and she was just diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and my grandfather ate and drank whatever he wanted and he lived to be 87!."  In fact that is exactly the diagnosis a dear friend of mine just received and my husband's grandfather did eat whatever he wanted and lived to be 87.  We all know people with similar stories and we can rationalize anything but we all know the real truth: our food can kill or cure.  

So it's back to being a choice, and aren't most things in life always a choice?   We must first choose to be healthy and then do what we need to do to get there.  The odd bit of junk food is not going to kill you, remember it's what you do everyday that counts not what you do once in a while.

Maybe start here:

The connection between being negative and weight loss.

Last week in our meeting I asked if anyone had been kind and loving to themselves the week before and no hands went up for the longest time and then one hand went up....one person out of the whole group had been kind to themselves and even then it was a rare event for that person!   I'd liked to say I was surprised at the lack of self appreciation but I wasn't, after all, we're all the same.

This was not the first time we broached this subject but it's a sensitive topic so I tend to let it go and move on but this time I just couldn't.  The sea of uncomfortable and sad faces was too much so I asked "Why???? Why is it so difficult to show yourself at least the kindness and respect you would show a friend or even a stranger?".  Still nothing and more uncomfortable faces so this time I moved on to our topic of goal setting.  I asked if setting small goals and achieving them made them feel proud of themselves....and nothing.  Then one member said she had never been made to feel that she could reach her goals so now even though she knows what to do and how to do it she can't seem to stick to her plans to reach even her smallest goals.  Not surprising everyone raised their hands in agreement.

A light bulb turned on it my head illuminating what I already know (because I live it):  we will not have full success and reach our goals until we ditch the negative story that we're not capable, not worthy and just not doing it right. Well, that crap has got to stop!  I don't know about you but I am bloody sick and tired of trying to think of changes I can make that will  make me successful at this weight loss game!  I'm done!  From now on I will work the Plan happy in the knowledge that I am doing it perfectly well!

I won't lie, it can be a challenge keeping my new "I'm a success" story in my head but one absolutely undeniable fact keeps me from going back:  My old story just didn't work!!!!  For 54 years I have had this same negative story in my head and I now finally, FINALLY, get it....it didn't, hasn't and never will "work" for me......it doesn't work.  Did you get that??  Negativity does not work.

So this is my new mantra! :)

I urge you, take a look, pay attention, to the thoughts (your story) in your head.  If they are in any way negative you need to change them.  Every time you notice a negative thought banish it, say "Nope, Nada, No More. ". Change your story, change your life.

Here's the beautiful thing about our stories...

Change your story, change your life.

You can't out run a bad diet..

Exercise is a huge part of becoming healthy and losing weight...but you can't out run a bad diet.   We want to believe if we work out we can eat more and when I say more I don't mean more real food, I mean more junk food.  

Dr. Mark Hyman said "we need to start thinking of junk food as recreational drugs".  Or even as alcohol. If we had alcohol for breakfast we'd all know we had a problem (except on vacation, then it's okay!).  But what about the fast eatable products we consume many or every morning or lunch?  And sometimes we have them AFTER we've just spent an hour in the gym!  We think the hour of sweat balanced the 3 minutes of eating a sugary-fat something.  It doesn't.  We know it, now we just need to accept it.

Time to stop fooling ourselves.  

We are what we eat...don't be junk.

And now this just because it's funny. :)

Self love: Don't wait until you've reached your weight loss goal to work on that.

The great thing about a personal blog is this is strictly my opinion, an opinion that does not need to be backed up with scientific studies.  All I need are quotes and memes to compliment my thoughts and I'm good to go!

I don't use the word "guarantee" much but I feel strongly enough about this topic to toss it into this sentence: If you do not love yourself as you are now, I guarantee that will not miraculously change once you lose weight.  The only thing that will change is your pant size, you'll still think some part of you is not good enough.  So how do we begin to change?  My first suggestion is to read everything you can until you find the words that resonate with you. Google "Self-Love" or "Self-Esteem" and start searching for solutions that make sense to you.  

This makes sense to me: Pay attention to your thoughts and question them.  We all have thousands of thoughts a day and they go unnoticed (and unchallenged) perhaps because we've lived with them our whole lives so we just accept them as being true.  Start noticing your thoughts, especially the negative ones.  You might be shocked at the negativity swimming around in there!

Once you've notice the negative thought, whether about yourself or a situation, question it....Why do I think or feel this way?....Why do I always blame myself for everything?....Why didn't I have a positive reaction?  The answer to all of the above is most likely, "Because that's what I've always done." It's the loop of negative thoughts your brain is on right now.  I find the questioning really helpful as it gives the logical part of my brain time to realize the negative thoughts are not based in reality, just habit.  Even if I really screwed up, that's still no reason for self hatred....I just screwed up, that's all. 

The good news is you can change it.  Just like you make changes in your food choices, you can make changes in your thought choices.  You know the food that's good for you so you incorporate them into your life.  Instead of having junk (negative) food you insert healthy (positive) food.  It's the same with positive thoughts.  When a negative thought appears, notice it, question it and then change it for a positive one.  You may think that's too difficult and you're right, it's not always easy.  How difficult was it to change your food choices?  Sometime easy, sometimes not so easy, right?  But the more you do it the easier it gets.  It's the same with negative thoughts....I guarantee it.

I imagine this applies to many of us.

So lets' try this...

Back from holidays and feeling very successful!

I don't think that is a phrase I have ever uttered, or even thought, before.  But when I was thinking about writing this entry I took a moment to really think about how I was feeling after 17 days on holiday and I truly have a feeling that I am not used to....the feeling of success!  

This is not to say that even though I ate on Plan and exercised every day that perhaps I didn't gain a bit (I weigh in on Friday), I may have but that's okay.  And that being okay is the source of my feeling successful.  Does that make sense?

As part of my continuing desire to grow into a happier and more peaceful person I had decided to start telling myself on a daily basis that I am doing exactly what I need to be doing to lose weight.  And that is what I did on my vacation. I told myself how fabulous I was (haha) and what great choices I was making:)  I said it out loud too....because after all, there was just me, the birds and the monkeys listening! (As usual, my husband had his headphones on listening to music).

One of the by-products of feeling successful throughout my holidays was I didn't have to deal with the inevitable feelings of failure when I got home!  Think about it.  How many times have you come back from being away, either on holidays, or work related, that you've felt like a failure because you did not stay on Plan?  Lots of times, right?  And where did those feelings of failure get you? Nowhere but mired in negativity and the need to eat your way out of it!  And, you have the feeling like you have to start all over again.  But if you feel successful all of the time you have no reason to feel like you have to start again.  

And, this bears repeating....being successful does not necessarily mean you lose weight, it means you set a plan of action and did your very best to make it happen.  We should never ask more of ourselves than that....remember, that's all we ask of others.  

So what are you telling yourself?  

How successful you are or how unsuccessful your are?

Think about it.

Costa Rica - Part 2!

I'm so relaxed that I'm not even going to try coming up with a humorous title.  At our mountain home overlooking the Arenal volcano.  Pretty hard to beat this morning coffee view. Our cups are handmade out of wood and Costa Rican coffee is so good.  Next time you have a Starbucks coffee, chances are it's Costa Rican.  A great way to start our busy days.

We braved the oncoming traffic to go hiking in the rain forest.

Stopped to say hello to this Coatimundi who worked one of the "intersections" on our road. 

 The Coati is a raccoon-like omnivore, but is more slender and possesses a longer snout. It is a nosy, busy little creature with an insatiable appetite. 

 This hike was 1.5 hours long through the rain forest with lots of suspended bridges.  Did not see anything more than a few little lizards.  In fact we've only seen one mosquito, but lots of little sugar ants if you leave a morsel on the counter!

 On this day we hiked through the lava rock below the volcano totally different from the rain forest.

We saw these berries several times and they look delicious but I'm reading the Hunger Games trilogy (thanks Marg!) and remember they could kill me.

I've been doing really well staying on Plan for the most part, eating Power Foods only...beer is a Power Food in Costa Rica.  But this outdoor BBQ grill is our favourite spot!  This is dinner for two- Roasted Pork, Ribs, Rib Eye steaks, Chicken Fajitas and Grilled Plantain.  Then each person gets a plate with salad, banana chips (yummy!!!) Yuca (like a potato, gave it to Scott) and 1 tortilla shell.  So it is a Plan meal, just an Atkins Plan meal.  But, as you can see, no sweets!

But look how happy I am!!  The beer is only 3 points...well 6 because I had two.

Ola!

Ola from Costa Rica!  Am walking and swimming every day.  The swimming part is a huge step for me as one who is not a lover of the bathing suit but since the house comes with a pool I have decided to make use of it daily.  It may not seem like a big deal to some but this is a huge step for me. And I have discovered muscles in my arms I never knew I had!

 This is where we start our day with the delicious Costa Rican coffee!

Off to do a 3 mile hike through the rain forest!  Am so grateful to be here.  Hope everyone is well and tracking, tracking, tracking!