Life is an echo...

This week at WW we're talking about "the ripple" effect and we're all familiar with how 1 potato chip can turn into an entire bag and beyond!  But this week we're going to focus on the positive ripple effects of the good habits and changes we all work so hard on.  Focus on the positive, we become what we practice most.

I came across the Chinese proverb below and thought it fitted in perfectly with the ripple effect.  If you doubt this to be true, think of someone who YOU think has the world by the tail.  Now think about how that person moves through their life......grateful? giving? forgiving? happy? inspiring? lighthearted? joyful? optimistic? open minded? encouraging? embracing? loving? accepting? peaceful?   

You can be that person too!  "Life is an echo, what you send out comes back" is so inspiring because each and everyone of us sends out an echo many, many times a day, and here's the great thing, we have the power to change it if we realize we've been sending out the wrong one!

Listen to your echo, what are you sending out?  Are you happy with it?  If you're not, take a close look at the messages you're sending with your actions, words and demeanor.  Are they....grateful? giving? forgiving? happy? inspiring? lighthearted? joyful? optimistic? open minded? encouraging? embracing? loving? accepting? peaceful?  If not, pick one and try it, I KNOW you will be pleasantly surprised because remember the whole echo thing?  Yup, right back at you!

"For a happy life want what you have"

Darlene mentioned the subject line in response to last weeks blog and it's so beautiful and true in it's simplicity.  This connects perfectly with Shawn Achor's idea of turning the model for success around....rather than concentrating on becoming successful to make us happy, be happy with who we are and what we have and we are already successful.
Once basic human needs of food and shelter are taken care of there are people who are happy and people who are unhappy, regardless of their individual levels of success. We know that's true because we all know people who have a lot of STUFF and aren't happy and we know people who have very little and are very happy. So that means happiness is available to us all and it starts with loving and wanting what you already have!

And just in case you're not convinced watch this!

https://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work

"Don't worry, be happy"...if only it was that easy!

It may not be that easy but it may be easier than we think!

(If you haven't the time, (or the desire, ha, ha) to read to the end of this blog, please, PLEASE do yourself a favour and watch the 12 min TED talk given by Shawn Achor.)

As someone who's had "moments" of unhappiness, I have sought out many ways over the years to treat my unhappiness.  Like most people I came to the conclusion that if I could just be successful (you know...lose weight, get married, good job, lose weight, lose weight, lose weight) then I would be happy.  Oddly enough, that never worked.  Now I know why.  Every time I lost some weight, I changed the goal...I'll be happy when I lose more.  Rushed to get married because my friends were married, so, of course, that didn't work.

But I am nothing if not diligent so I continue to search for ways to be happy.  One of my favourite ways is to give my brain some positive messages and one such way is Oprah's "Super Soul Sunday"...love, love this show!  Each Sunday she interviews experts in various areas of enlightenment. Some I identify with, some not. One amazing interview was with Shawn Achor, a Harvard grad who studied and now teaches Positive Psychology.  He talked about the traditional model of finding happiness..."If I work harder, I'll be more successful, then I'll be happier."  Wow, that was me! But then he said, "Every time we have a success, we change the goal post."  If you got good grades, now you have to get better grades, a good job, now you need a better job etc.,  Wow, me again!  Is this you too?? Shawn also said this, "If happiness is on the other side of success, your brain never gets there".  Makes sense doesn't it?  How do we know that to be true? Because most of us are living proof....we never get to the other side.  But we are also living proof that happiness makes us more successful.  I've had them, you've had them, you know, those moments of happiness when everything in life just seems easier?  They were easier because as Shawn says, "...Dopamine, which floods your system when your positive, has 2 functions: not only does it make you happier, it turns on all the learning centers of your brain allowing you to adapt in the world in different ways."

Shawn says we can "reverse the formula of happiness and success" and here's how:

Re-train your brain daily to create positive change:

• Write down 3 different things your grateful for each day 
• Keep a journal of the times our are happy (giving your brain a chance to relive them)
• Exercise
• Meditation
• Random acts of kindness

Ummm, notice how none of them require a degree in 

Rocket Science!  

Like I said, being happier may be easier than we think.  

Shawn Achor
http://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work

What inspires you?

When I started to make a list of what inspired me it became very evident that I'm inspired by people.  Don't get me wrong I marvel at sunsets, humming birds and art as much as the next person but here's what came out of my brain and in no specific order of importance.

1.  People who take life as it comes and make the best of it. -  This trait has always impressed and, until very recently, eluded me.  My Great-Aunt Eva was a master.  She used to say "Well, we just won't worry about it" and she didn't.  She was the most content person I've ever known and some days, don't you just want to be content?

2.  People who get that "this is it, this is our one and only life" and live it as such. - We all say "this is not a dress rehearsal" but to see someone who actually lives full on is truly inspiring.  Perhaps it's because the "I'm on" energy they exude is contagious.

3. People who live fearlessly. - This is a HUGE goal of mine. "There is nothing to fear but fear itself."  It really boils down to a fear of failure, doesn't it?  Im workin' on it.

4. People who live a purpose driven life. - I am in awe of those who know the reason for their existence. And here's the super, fantastic thing about this one that I'm slowly grasping: you don't have to be Oprah! There is no right or wrong, better or worse, too big or too little purpose.  All that really matters is that it's your purpose and it drives you!  

5. People who start a new career or embark on a life changing journey....at 50! - So inspired by those with the confidence and chutzpah (personal confidence or courage that allows someone to do or say things that may seem shocking to others) to step out from their comfort zone and go for it when society tells them to just pay off their mortgage and save for retirement.

6. Unwavering belief, and acceptance, that life is as it should be. - This a big concept to wrap ones head around but, wow, I am inspired to continue to get my head wrapped! 

7. People who can let it go, and honestly, move on. - Seriously, what a way to live your life!

8. People who are passionate about something/anything in their life. - The great thing about this one is that it doesn't matter what the passion is directed towards!  The mere action of being passionate about something brings meaning and fulfillment into ones life. And there's a good chance you'll make others happy in the process. 

9. Perseverance - This one is practiced by everyone who inspires me!..."continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure or opposition".  To the WW members who commit, and recommit, to their personal weight loss goals week after week, your perseverance and dedication is what keeps me going! Thank you, thank you.

10.  People who choose to be kind....key word: choose 

11. My Son:

-This kid (man) lives fearlessly! And for that I am so grateful.  He knows what he wants and is not afraid to go for it.  He succeeded and he's failed but has never wavered in his belief of his abilities. Again, so grateful even though this trait skipped a generation.

-He gets, actually GETS, that this is it, and lives accordingly (and doesn't call and ask for money to fund this life).

-He chooses to be kind. - Perhaps only my son will understand how much this inspires me.

12.  My dog:  I cannot help but be inspired by our super dog James...his zest for life is unequaled!

- he takes life as it comes and if it comes with a ball stuffed with peanut butter, all the better

-he has a passion for balls, of all sorts

-believes life is as is should be....full of love, running and, of course....balls

We could all learn from our furry friends and family members! 

And last (but not least, I just happen to have a image to go with this one), 

I am inspired by people who believe age is just a number...

especially as my number gets higher! 

So, what inspires you???

Relax, manage and enjoy!

This week think about letting go of control, relaxing into your new life style through management. When we refuse to relax and accept the reality of our lives we're actually setting up all sorts of doors, windows and road blocks to our happiness and success.  I believe a successful life is all about management.  For years, and years, I'd tried to control EVERYTHING and failed miserably.  I now realize it was not because I didn't try hard enough, it was because it was not my job to control, it was my job to manage. Control and management may seem like the same action, and they can indeed create similar outcomes on certain situations, but only one of them can leave you in a peaceful, doors-wide-open, state if things don't work out as hoped or planned which is sometimes the case in life.

So which are you in your life, a Controller or a Manager?  

Do you work fiercely with a do or die attitude with your happiness hinging on a perfect outcome?  Or do you decide what you want, make your best plan and strive to execute it to the best of your ability with your happiness securely in place and not based on the outcome?  

Which of these methods do you think will bring peace to your life?

Tools of the trade...do you use ALL of the tools in your toolbox?

Every task has it's own set of "tools" and losing weight is no different.  You wouldn't expect to build a house with just a screw driver right?  Of course not and we can't expect to build our weight loss with just one tool either.  If you've been at this for any length of you time you will no doubt have figured out just working part of the plan is not enough.  Certain times and events require different tools...which brings us to BBQ TIME!

BBQ....three letters that simultaneously fill us with joy and dread!  BBQ's, in most of our minds, mean grilled meats, several mayonaisy salads, potato chips and booze and lot's of it!  Sigh...my mouth is watering already....and I won't go into the dessert menu....sorry about that!  

Whenever I think of going to a BBQ and trying to "fit" the hosts menu into my daily PPV's I just laugh...not going to happen.  So I have 2 choices: go off (way off, like Albuquerque, New Mexico off)  Plan OR take at least 2 Plan friendly dishes myself.  I have learned, and accepted, that I cannot resist gorging on the BBQ food. So I take food I can fill up on first and then am able to make much better choices.  Rather simple but it works.

And there are plenty of Plan friendly recipes...they're in your tool box, didn't you see them?  They're right along side of "eat some protein before you go", "drink lots of water", "earn extra activity points", "write down YOUR planned menu", "save your 49"....so many tools!  Oh, and don't forget one of our most effective tools "want power"!  How do you WANT your summer weight loss to go?

So, enjoy your summer, plan your summer and lose the weight!  

And, of course, never leave home without your tool box!  

Be nice to yourself.....ALL of the time!

"The words we speak set the course for our lives.  If you want to know where you are going to be in five years, listens to the words you are saying about yourself today."  Joel Osteen

Right now my dog-child James is laying at my feet and when I think of him all sorts of words come to mind...in fact I tell him he's not just super but ALL of the super's....super smart, super cute, super sweet, super ball catcher, super fast, super noser, super banana eater....you get the idea!  We're always saying "Good Boy/Girl", "Aren't you smart?" to our dogs, cats, horses and hamsters.  Why?  Because we love them and  we know our positive reinforcement encourages them to repeat positive behavior plus it makes their tails wag in happiness!  I have never once said to myself how super I am.  Why not?

The power of words is immeasurable. So here's my question for us all:  When you've had a not so Plan friendly week, what words to you use to describe yourself?  Dumb, stupid and useless?  Those are just mine, yours may be different.  Why do we do that?  If a fellow member said to you they had a disastrous week and was totally off Plan, would you slap them upside the head and call them stupid?  Of course you wouldn't!  You'd comfort them, share their pain and tell them not to give, that next week will be better. 

Do we really think by berating ourselves that our behavior will change?  Most of us have been scolded by for doing something wrong or to stop inappropriate behavior.  When it was about not touching a hot stove or darting out into traffic, well,  that was helpful.  But were you ever scolded for taking another piece of cake or bowl of ice cream?  Told to "leave a few chips in the bag for the rest of us"?  Did it stop you from having another piece of cake, bag of chips or tub of ice cream?  No.  We were so hurt by those comments that we needed comfort... so we ate another piece of cake, bag of chips or tub of ice cream. See how that works? 

Always be as nice to yourself as you are to your dog, cat, horse or hamster!  Your inner tail will wag:)

Do you dare to ask???

Do you live a fear driven life? I did. I was brought up by a Father who was driven to succeed by the fear of losing. I just realized a few years ago I too was making life decisions based on fear of losing. If you never try, you can never lose. I missed out on a lot of wonderful experiences living that mantra. Living a fear driven life, is a life in which you're constantly clipping your own wings. How do you live your life?

Check out this 1 minute commencement address by Jim Carrey.  It's really worth your minute!

http://sfglobe.com/?id=955&src=share_fb_new_955

“I am a lover of what is, not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality.” Bryon Katie

I love, love this, because I've learned, with a wee bit o'practice mind you, to accept, if not always "love", what is.  What a relief and release it is to let it go!  

I used to argue with reality all the freakin' time! And I just realized I still do when it comes to my weight loss journey.  I argue that my weight should be going down because I'm working the Plan.  But here's the reality:  I am working the Plan and my weight is not going down.  Bam...reality.  

But here's the difference now.  In the past I would sink into a self loathing depression, give up and eat even more (sound familiar?).  But when you learn to accept and love what is, stop obsessing and blaming, you have a whole lot more time to think positive thoughts!  Seriously, obsessing and blaming are time suckers!  So now, I still keep trying and working the Plan BUT with a true happiness and lightheartedness that is fueling me with positive energy....energy that I'm able to use to sustain my weight loss efforts until such time as I start to lose again.  Bam...more reality!

How does accepting what is allow you to be happy?  Well, I'm not an expert but this is how I see it.  If reality is "the world or the state of things as they actually exist" then no amount of wishing, wanting or manipulating on my part is going to change it.  So, if it is impossible for me to change the reality of a situation, why continue wasting my precious, and not unlimited, energy continually going down that dead end road?  Do you KNOW how much energy it takes to wish, want and manipulate???  Of course you know exactly what I'm talking about....the energy we use trying to change what cannot be changed is HUGE!!!  And because reality cannot be changed, we can NEVER be successful, which is very painful. And that pain weighs us down and robs us of the chance to live lightheartedly and happily.  Once you truly try to accept "what is" something inside you happens: lightheartedness.  I use the word "lightheartedness" because that's what happens to me. When the "thing" that I'd like to change comes to mind, I no longer obsess and blame, but rather acknowledge and let go.  I acknowledge that I still want to lose weight but I accept that it may not happen at this time (menopause, hormones leaping off of cliffs etc).  Then I choose to reap all the other benefits of eating well and exercising and then BAM....lightheartedness walks in the door!

Remember, accepting "what is" doesn't mean giving up or giving in, in fact the exact opposite. Accepting "what is" allows you to see the situation as it truly is.  You can't change the reality of a situation but you can change your attitude towards the situation.  In the case of weight loss changing your current negative attitude may be the kick start you need. Nurturing a positive attitude will fill you with a renewed energy that you can use to get you back in the game!  And you be able to work on your goal light of heart.  Which can make you happy!!!  Yay!!!

So, I encourage you to accept and, yes even love, what is.  It just may be the missing piece of your personal happiness puzzle!

What to do if you feel like quitting, or at least, here's what I do!

As a WW leader it always makes my so sad when I hear one of our members say they feel like quitting.  It makes me sad and I absolutely feel the some way some days!  Honestly I'm having a lot of those feelings lately.  Why?  Well, I'm sure for the very same reasons you feel like quitting..."I'm not losing weight even though I am working the plan to the very best of my ability."  Like you, I am totally accepting of any weight gain when I'm off the wagon because I KNOW why....yup, wings, chips and beer etc:) It's the not knowing WHY that frustrates me to no end.  I follow the plan, eat all, but not more than, my daily PPV's in lean protein, low fat dairy, veggies and fruit (keep my fruit to 3), exercise daily, drink my water, keep my starchy carbs to an absolute minimum...and yes, I know I'm preaching to the choir.

So, what to do?  Quit?  Well, for me quitting is never an option, remember I've been working at this since Grade 6!  And that does not make me super-woman.  I don't quit because this is something I do KNOW....I KNOW, without a shadow of doubt, if I quit I will stop my freakin'-annoying-but-not-gaining-holding-pattern and start gaining weight...very rapidly.  Sound familiar?

So, now what do I do?  What I do now, what I CHOOSE to do now, is accept "what is" and keep working the plan...and damn it, do it with gratitude!  Choosing to accept "what is" and focusing my energy on gratitude I'm giving myself the absolute very best chance to be successful.  This, I KNOW to be true.  And I know the Plan offers me so much more than weight loss.  My body may be clinging to some body fat but it's humming with the healthy nutrients I give it each day and that I know is worth my efforts.  

I started accepting "what is" a few years back and, wow, what a game changer it was!  I used to believe I could control the outcome of situations if I just worked hard enough and never gave up.  What a hard, hard lesson for me to learn that not all things were within my control and that I had to learn to accept "what is" or continue to be miserable...took me YEARS to get that one!  But when I got it, wow, what a release of tension and anxiety.  By accepting the things I could not change (ummm, sounds like a line in a 12 step program) I freed myself from putting my focus and energy on things that were not mine to change.

Things I cannot change:  I'm 53, I'm going through menopause and most of my hormones have fallen off a cliff.

Things I can change:  Being unhappy about: being 53, going through menopause and my dead hormones. 

Does any of this sound like what you're going through?  What are you going to choose to do? Will you choose to gratefully accept "what is" and focus your energy on working the plan?  Focus on the many benefits eating and living a healthy life give you?  I hope that is exactly what you choose to do because then you will be getting the very best your current weight "situation" can give you.  And that's pretty good isn't it?

This is very true, don't you think????