Do you love what you're doing?

Do you love that you are trying to change your relationship with food?  Do you love that you are working to make your life better by being healthier?  Do you love getting together with others and sharing the experience?  Do you love trying new ways to achieve your weight loss goals?  Do you love choosing real food over processed food?  Do you love giving your body the movement it needs?

                                                Nope?

Ok....

 so you work hard, persevere, learn new habits, study healthy guide lines, sacrifice 

old ways but still don't love why you do all of that??

Could you possibly be putting a bigger road block between you and your goal?  

Me thinks not.
Loving what you do to get to your goal, and why you're doing it, is half the battle.

Ya gotta find the love or it really is just a pain in the ass!

Is this a good time to talk about commitment?

If you`ve been trying to lose weight for any length of time you`ve probably figured out there`s always another reason to go off Plan right around the corner!  We just had one....the first long weekend of the summer, when the difference between interest in losing weight and commitment to losing weight becomes very apparent!

If it is your plan to lose weight over the summer then you need to have a really good think about the statement above!  And I say think because, like any goal, weight loss must begin in the mind.  If you do not consciously commit to staying on Plan all summer,even when it's inconvenient, especially when it's inconvenient, you will be cha-cha-ing with your weight all summer long!  And then it's Labour Day, and then Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then....well you get the picture. Trust me, I know the difference between interest and commitment.  I have been interested in losing weight many, many times! :)

Here's how you know if you're interested or committed: 

when the weekend rolls around do you have a weekend Plan or

does your Plan go out the window until Monday?

Pretty simple test, right?

So, which are you, interested or committed? 

So...what IS your relationship with food?

Just got back from Memphis and was at a loss for a topic for this weeks blog, but talking with another food-lovin'/hatin'  person gave me an idea! :)

We talked not only about how food is always on our minds but why food is always on our minds. We talked about our relationship with food.  

Some people gain weight because they just eat more than they burn. For them, there is little or no emotional attachment...they drop their portions and they drop weight.

But for many of us food becomes so much more than the sustenance it once was when we were infants.  The moment we began to actively take part in our own lives, the experiences we had, and the people we had those experiences with, began to shape, and often change, our relationship with food.  

My sustenance-only relationship with food changed the moment I started eating solid food!  

Seriously, I grew up in a family where the topic of conversation at lunch was what to eat for supper! And, my parents and grandmother came from homes that had to ration food so having lots to eat meant success.  Oh, and did I mention we owned, and lived in, a general store??  We never ran our to food.  Both my parents worked 6 long days a week in the store, so when I was bored, or tired, or cranky...the fix-all was food.  And then when I was old enough to be allowed to get my own food from the store, I self-medicated with food.  I was not allowed to help my self to candy so I quickly learned if I baked cakes and cookies no one would monitor my intake.  And if ice cream was in our family freezer, it too good to go!

So, I can sum up my current and past relationship with food:

1. never run out - I'm not so stressed out by this one now; I'm confident each day will contain food.:)

2. always know when the next meal is coming - I now know planning and obsessing are two different     things.

3. food solves problems - Well, this one's a no brainer, right??

Do any of these describe your relationship with food??

 So take a moment to think about what exactly your relationship entails...it may not be fun, it may be painful but you cannot solve a problem without identifying it first.

Yet another reason to be glad I live in Canada!

I truly enjoy

 The Cracker Barrel 

and 

The Golden Corral Buffet 

but am so very glad we don't have them in Canada!

So far have avoided all starch and desserts AND I to my amazement, I survived!:)

We have one more visit to each of  those restaurants and

 I've given myself permission to indulge...a girl's got to cut loose once in a while!

But first I will eat a huge, honkin' salad. :)

You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away...

I'm sitting in Vegas in my hotel and am singin' Kenny Rogers "The Gambler".  It pops into my head every time I walk through the casino.  I'm not a gambler....with money....I like to say a gamble for me is buying an expensive top I might, or might not, wear...a big gamble!

However, since becoming a WW, I do find I have to "know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run" when it comes to workin' the Plan, because being here for 5 days could be disastrous if I didn't!  So here's my weekend in Vegas plan:  the only sweet will be cousin Ricci's wedding cake, no starchy carbs, and a beer for breakfast is totally acceptable while my feet are on US soil.  

My son Glenn and I with my cousin Ricci (white jacket) and his now husband Karl.

Glenn and I with my Dad's sister June, she's Canadian/Vegas which is a fun combination!

My only first cousin, on my Dad's side, Gina with Glenn and I....she is totally Vegas! 

It's been fun, and for the first time in my life I went out to a buffet dinner

 and did not have dessert!  

I knew "when to walk away" well, actually it was more like

 knew not to walk by the dessert bar! :)

Think about all of the times in just one day you make those same decisions.
If you realize you are doing them automatically that means you've change some
 old habits and isn't that exciting??

Baby steps....

I realize some of my blogs can be a little blunt but please believe me that bluntness comes from a place of genuine caring.  I know what possibilities await each and everyone of you and I want so very, very much for you to know it too!  I see struggle and pain, frustration and hopelessness and think what can I say or do to switch the light on??  Hoping you'll see past the number on the scale and finally get that losing the weight is just the beginning, that it's not the final destination on your journey.  

The final destination is to live in a state of peace and love.

I know that sounds very Oprah and Deepak Chopra but it's true! How do I know it's true?  Well, like everyone else I can only speak my truth but I think I'm pretty average so I believe what I feel is universal.  I've felt and lived with struggle, pain, frustration and hopelessness just like you...and I've finally reached a state of peace and self-love.  It may not be every minute of every day but it's always there and I've learned how to bring it back even on the tough days.  How did I reach it?  Baby steps my friends, baby steps! I didn't realize at the time they were baby steps but looking back I see that I never gave up, I kept baby stepping!  I had a two pronged approach: one was practical with food choices and activity, the other was changing my attitude about myself. And here's the kicker...(I wish I had sound effects!)....I would have got to peace much, MUCH faster had I worked harder on the second one.  

My mistake was that I thought the only way to be worthy was to lose weight.  

Sound familiar???

But, thankfully,somewhere along the way it finally sunk in:  You will lose weight and keep it off if change your attitude towards yourself.  Why?  Because when you love yourself and approach each day from the peace self-love gives you will simply WANT make better food and activity choices!  

Isn't it true when we're distracted by doubt, anxiety and fear that we tend to make bad choices? Yup.

So, where do you begin?  How do you change years of conditioning?  

Baby steps, my friends, baby steps. :)

Success requires change.

Ask yourself this question: 

What am I willing to do to be successful at my weight loss goal?"

 Here's what I know, and I think you know it too:  

You can't lose weight (and more importantly, keep it off) if you don't change the habits

 that got you there in the first place.

For me it was changing my habits of eating lots of sugar and starch and

 getting very little exercise.

Here's what I believe:  

I believe those 3 things play a big role in your weight loss challenge too.  I believe you cannot eat fast food 2 or 3 times a week and lose weight.  I believe you must write down everything you eat and drink: how else will you know when you've eaten enough? I believe you must exchange most of your starchy carb choices with non-starchy veggies and lean protein.  I believe, if you are able, you must be active daily. I believe you must make consistent daily efforts to change your habits- two or three days a week are not enough. I believe being grateful and joyful make the journey easier.

I believe if you don't make the changes that lead to being overweight you will continue to 

struggle losing and gaining the same 5 lbs.

                         I believe everything I do is worth it.  
                         I believe it will be the same for you.

So, how was your weekend??

I ate lots of pie, of course.  

The maddening thing is that it wasn't even great pie because I made them! 

  

But, must say I ate them with peace of mind and acceptance because I have never, ever, had a holiday family meal without over indulging on pie.  So, I had a choice: eat and feel lousy and like a failure, or eat and feel at peace with the decision.  Pretty easy choice when you put it in writing isn't it?

In addition to all of the eating, I walked 5 times over the weekend and got right back on the first wagon that went by my door on Monday morning.  Cause that's what we do, right?

Just take the weekend one moment at a time.

I'm fearful of how this weekend is going to go food wise, the feelings of losing control are very strong at this moment and it's only 9:22 am!  I joke about all the pie I'm always eat but the reality is I can't and don't want to not eat it.  I look forward to it.  So, I choose to not to have the internal struggle that has been plaguing me for 45 years ruin yet another day.  If I'm tired of anything, I'm tired of that self destructive dance!  So, I'm going for my walk and will do my best.  And if my best includes a few pieces of pie, then so be it.  I accept the consequences.

And this weekend, my goal is to be happy and peaceful.

What's you're goal for the next 3 days?

Careful with your terminology.

The longer I am involved in the weight loss community, talking to and weighing in my comrades in food addiction the more I hear you all spouting pejorative words about yourselves! (Pejorative: expressing contempt or disapproval.  I heard Maya Angelou use it and had to look it up! Great word.) 

Don't think I'm talking about you??  When was the last time you said you were bad?  Ate like a pig? Said you were lazy?  Said you were stupid?  Thought you were a failure?  Thought you were undeserving of success?  Thought you don't have what it takes to reach your goals?  All those thoughts and words...pejorative!

Remember, where your head goes, your body will follow.  Change your terminology.  If have a day where you eat everything in sight. don't say "I was so bad today", say "I fell off plan today".  If you make a poor decision food wise this weekend, don't say "I'm such a failure, I can't even get through one holiday meal without eating 4 pieces of pie", say "I know 1 piece of pie leads to 3 more but I did it anyway and accept the consequence."  (That's what I will be saying to myself, feel free to use it.)  If you didn't get your walk in today, don't say, "I'm so lazy, no wonder I can't lose weight", say, "I didn't walk today".  Just state the fact, leave the judgement out of it.  

Unless of course you think you'e awesome!

Try being as nice to yourself as you are to your 

dog, cat or grandchild.