Take ownership of your choices...the difference between "I deserve" and "I decide".

When you think you deserve something, that is a judgement...and here's the thing with judgement...that door swing both ways!  If we make decisions based on what we deem we deserve we place ourselves in the position of constantly judging our worthiness.

For many of us that judgement of deserving often involves food!  For example, a few weeks back our band was away for 3 gigs and I was averaging 19,000 steps a day! Plus on gig days I eat very on plan, just for energy and to keep my stomach settled.  Our last gig was Sunday afternoon and we were being fed at this awesome little 50's diner in Owen Sound.  Normally I do not order fries but during the show, while I was shakin' what my Mama gave me, I was thinking, "After all this shaking, I deserve to have fries for dinner, yay!"  After we placed our drink order, I went to the washroom to wash up and got thinking about what I was going to order, after all, I was really excited about having my own order of fries!!!  Then my own words slammed me in the head, "You deserve fries??"  I didn't deserve to have fries, I decided to have fries, there's a big difference.

Too often I have made decisions based on how deserving I felt that day and usually it stemmed from how my diet was going.  Sure, it was all great when I was on Plan but what about the days when I wasn't?  The days when the wagon showed up at my door and I just didn't get on...was I less deserving on those days?  I guess so, the door of judgement swings both ways, remember? Ever notice judgement always has a string attached and grey areas, right?  Decisions, for the most part, are yes or no.

So, I decided to have fries, not because I deserved them but because I wanted them and decided after shakin' my tail feathers for 3 days, it was a good day to have them!  And they were delicious and judgement free...

How about we stop judging ourselves and basing our life decisions, 
big and small, on them?

You do know your criteria for self judgement comes from others, right?

Wow, while writing this I just realized making decisions based on worthiness really makes everything so much more complicated that it needs to be, I mean in this case after all, 
I was taking about French Fries!

 Ummm, I do that a lot...methinks that's a topic for another blog. :)

Find people who have what you want and do as they do...they "Just do it!"

One of the the best reasons to attend meetings is that there are people there who have what you want. We know being surrounded by grumpy, cynical, unhappy people has a way of rubbing off on us. So doesn't it stand to reason the opposite is true?  

When we decide to make changes in our lives we very quickly see losing our old habits can sometimes seem impossible.  We think we can't do it.  That's why surrounding ourselves with people who have changed and are continuing to change is vital to our success.  We need to see possibility up close and in action!  We need to soak up some of what they have. 

They themselves started off just like you with the same challenges in front of them.  The difference between moving towards success and standing still (we only fail when we quit!) is the willingness to just do it.  The Nike ad is so simple..."Just do it!".  

If you take the time to come to the meetings, then take a little more time and just do it!  The person sitting next to you who just lost another 5 lbs is just doing it. They know tracking is essential to weight loss so they just do it!  They know exercising is essential to weight loss so they just do it! They know practicing a positive attitude makes the journey easier so they just do it!  They've learned doing what other successful people do helps them be more successful so they just do it!

 Surround yourself with people who have what you want 

and do what they do...

Just do it!

That's what the person who just lost another 5 lbs does.

Happiness is an inside job....

Don't you love quotes that just nail it on the head???  As I sit here trying to think of something to write...I can't help but think, "Man, I wish someone had told me that when I was growing up"!  And I'd like to add, "Don't assign any one thing to be the source of your happiness"....like losing weight. Funny how it always comes back to losing weight!  But I know that is true for many of you, because once again it has been, and unfortunately sometimes still is, true for me.  How do I know it's true? Because I am markedly happier if I weigh 4 pounds less.  Four frickin' pounds!  That is ridiculous! My moods lightens instantly, the world seems brighter, and stress seems to be non-existent.  Clearly, I still need to work on this.....

And, yes, I can hear some of you saying, "Four F**king pounds?? Bitch, I have 40, 50 or 100 pounds to lose!"  And that is the point I'm making about happiness being attached to the number on the scale....even though I am only 4 pounds away from my "ideal" weight....my happiness and self-worth are still contingent on a number.  To be clear, I did not swear, you did.:)

As a child I was either over the moon happy or in the depths of despair, and let me tell you, it was exhausting!  And now that I think of it, exhausting being my Mom too! She used to try and bring me to the center.  She used to say, "If you make the best of everything situation, then you will have the very best that life can offer."  I had no idea what she was talking about. :)   Now I do, and I do make the best of every situation.....
Now, if I was just 4 pounds lighter....always a work in progress! :)

How attached to the number on the scale is your level of happiness?   It turns out that happiness can be learned and increased but it requires some change but doesn't everything???

For me "Judge Less, Accept More" and "Fear Less, Love More" are the big ones.

How about you?

Oh, and by the way,

 science shows that happier people make healthier choices...

which could lead to weight loss! :)

Tony Robbins says, "Get to know the voices in your head and which ones to follow!"

I don't know about the rest of you but I live in my head waaaaay too much!  I'm trying to get out. 

Tony says, "We rely on our mind for everything — every thought, decision, opinion or idea you can conjure up is thought to come from the mind. But did you know your mind can’t always be trusted? Living inside your head is dangerous. This is where your saboteurs are triggered, and that is when your internal enemies come to light, habitual mind patterns creep in and negative self-talk takes over."

Negative self-talk....sound familiar?

What I've realized most since starting to "notice" my thoughts (about 8 years ago after reading Eckhart Tolle's books) is that my reactions to situations in my life are not mine, they are my Dad's!  My first reaction to most situations is fear.  As I've said in past blogs my Dad is/was a warrior father...always protecting and protection mode starts with the fear of losing something. Unfortunately, when  you come from a place of fear of losing there is little room for joy.  Man, that is a lesson I have learned the hard way!  

I believe fear was the start of my weight problem: my fear of losing affection, acceptance and worthiness needed to be soothed.  I soothed it with food, starvation dieting and excessive exercise...and we all know how that turned out!  

That is exactly what I used to do....and now I don't do that.... quite so much!:)

So, how about your thoughts?  
Are they your thoughts or were they given to you?  What thoughts rule your life? 
And by extension your ability, or inability, to change your relationship with food?
  If they are negative thoughts you've carried in your head since you were a child,
 do you think it's time to let them go and get new ones?
The answer is oh, my good gracious, yes!

How do you do that???  Just start by noticing your thoughts.  Every time you have a negative thought about yourself or a situation ask yourself  "Why do I think this way?"  The answer may surprise you.
Mine did.

Some great, and easy meal ideas from the group!

Before I list the other ideas, Darlene sent this one....

This looks like it could be really yummy! Continuation of Fridays meeting, the photo looks just like garlic bead! DarleneL

Gluten Free Cauliflower Crust or Garlic Bread….via The 21 Day Challenge 

2 cups cauliflower, approx 1 head of cauliflower
2 cups shredded cheese (your choice)
2 eggs
1/4 cup of almond flour or unsweetened coconut
1 tsp salt
Seasoning to taste
Butter or coconut oil

1. Preheat oven to 425
2. Steam up your cauliflower, not to soft
3. Blend it up into a food processor, till it looks like rice
4. Mix in all other ingredients
5. Grease your pan, and spread the mixture into your desired thickness and shape.
6. Cook for 17 minutes.

Some other great and easy meals:

- Grilled eggplant,spaghetti squash with Parmesan cheese

- add some avocado to your sandwich

- grilled portobello mushrooms (i could use some tips on how to cook these...my attempt was not so successful!)

-plant a herb garden - fresh mint sounds yummy

-fish baked with salsa

-original WW zero points veggie soup as an appetizer

-BBQ veggies in tin foil with some olive oil and spices.  Piri Piri spice was mentioned as very a new favourite.

-cottage cheese with crushed pineapple

-peel, dice and cooked apple with cottage cheese and apple pie spice -frozen grapes

-Dijon mustard always adds some zip

-roasted chick peas add a nice crunch to a salad

-mango chutney

-cinnamon - I add some to my raspberries and greek yogurt

-lime tortilla chips- sometimes you just need to spend some points on some crunch!

-fried onions - you don't need as much oil as you think!

-and of course...garlic!

And this one from the WW newsletter sounds fantastic!
 Brandied Chicken with Summer Fruits
http://www.weightwatchers.ca/food/rcp/RecipePage.aspx?recipeid=50456

If I missed any, please feel free to add your suggestions!   

Do you love what you're doing?

Do you love that you are trying to change your relationship with food?  Do you love that you are working to make your life better by being healthier?  Do you love getting together with others and sharing the experience?  Do you love trying new ways to achieve your weight loss goals?  Do you love choosing real food over processed food?  Do you love giving your body the movement it needs?

                                                Nope?

Ok....

 so you work hard, persevere, learn new habits, study healthy guide lines, sacrifice 

old ways but still don't love why you do all of that??

Could you possibly be putting a bigger road block between you and your goal?  

Me thinks not.
Loving what you do to get to your goal, and why you're doing it, is half the battle.

Ya gotta find the love or it really is just a pain in the ass!

Is this a good time to talk about commitment?

If you`ve been trying to lose weight for any length of time you`ve probably figured out there`s always another reason to go off Plan right around the corner!  We just had one....the first long weekend of the summer, when the difference between interest in losing weight and commitment to losing weight becomes very apparent!

If it is your plan to lose weight over the summer then you need to have a really good think about the statement above!  And I say think because, like any goal, weight loss must begin in the mind.  If you do not consciously commit to staying on Plan all summer,even when it's inconvenient, especially when it's inconvenient, you will be cha-cha-ing with your weight all summer long!  And then it's Labour Day, and then Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then....well you get the picture. Trust me, I know the difference between interest and commitment.  I have been interested in losing weight many, many times! :)

Here's how you know if you're interested or committed: 

when the weekend rolls around do you have a weekend Plan or

does your Plan go out the window until Monday?

Pretty simple test, right?

So, which are you, interested or committed? 

So...what IS your relationship with food?

Just got back from Memphis and was at a loss for a topic for this weeks blog, but talking with another food-lovin'/hatin'  person gave me an idea! :)

We talked not only about how food is always on our minds but why food is always on our minds. We talked about our relationship with food.  

Some people gain weight because they just eat more than they burn. For them, there is little or no emotional attachment...they drop their portions and they drop weight.

But for many of us food becomes so much more than the sustenance it once was when we were infants.  The moment we began to actively take part in our own lives, the experiences we had, and the people we had those experiences with, began to shape, and often change, our relationship with food.  

My sustenance-only relationship with food changed the moment I started eating solid food!  

Seriously, I grew up in a family where the topic of conversation at lunch was what to eat for supper! And, my parents and grandmother came from homes that had to ration food so having lots to eat meant success.  Oh, and did I mention we owned, and lived in, a general store??  We never ran our to food.  Both my parents worked 6 long days a week in the store, so when I was bored, or tired, or cranky...the fix-all was food.  And then when I was old enough to be allowed to get my own food from the store, I self-medicated with food.  I was not allowed to help my self to candy so I quickly learned if I baked cakes and cookies no one would monitor my intake.  And if ice cream was in our family freezer, it too good to go!

So, I can sum up my current and past relationship with food:

1. never run out - I'm not so stressed out by this one now; I'm confident each day will contain food.:)

2. always know when the next meal is coming - I now know planning and obsessing are two different     things.

3. food solves problems - Well, this one's a no brainer, right??

Do any of these describe your relationship with food??

 So take a moment to think about what exactly your relationship entails...it may not be fun, it may be painful but you cannot solve a problem without identifying it first.

Yet another reason to be glad I live in Canada!

I truly enjoy

 The Cracker Barrel 

and 

The Golden Corral Buffet 

but am so very glad we don't have them in Canada!

So far have avoided all starch and desserts AND I to my amazement, I survived!:)

We have one more visit to each of  those restaurants and

 I've given myself permission to indulge...a girl's got to cut loose once in a while!

But first I will eat a huge, honkin' salad. :)

You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away...

I'm sitting in Vegas in my hotel and am singin' Kenny Rogers "The Gambler".  It pops into my head every time I walk through the casino.  I'm not a gambler....with money....I like to say a gamble for me is buying an expensive top I might, or might not, wear...a big gamble!

However, since becoming a WW, I do find I have to "know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run" when it comes to workin' the Plan, because being here for 5 days could be disastrous if I didn't!  So here's my weekend in Vegas plan:  the only sweet will be cousin Ricci's wedding cake, no starchy carbs, and a beer for breakfast is totally acceptable while my feet are on US soil.  

My son Glenn and I with my cousin Ricci (white jacket) and his now husband Karl.

Glenn and I with my Dad's sister June, she's Canadian/Vegas which is a fun combination!

My only first cousin, on my Dad's side, Gina with Glenn and I....she is totally Vegas! 

It's been fun, and for the first time in my life I went out to a buffet dinner

 and did not have dessert!  

I knew "when to walk away" well, actually it was more like

 knew not to walk by the dessert bar! :)

Think about all of the times in just one day you make those same decisions.
If you realize you are doing them automatically that means you've change some
 old habits and isn't that exciting??